


Words Mean More at Night

by DaisytheDoodleDog



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Sokka (Avatar), But it'll start that way, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, General Sokka, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, M/M, PTSD, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Post-Series, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, The Author Regrets Nothing, This isn't all sad, War, background katara/aang - Freeform, my hand slipped, sokka/zuko - Freeform, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25252852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisytheDoodleDog/pseuds/DaisytheDoodleDog
Summary: Even ten years after the end of the war, rebellions rise and risk the balance of the nations. Sokka was willing to do anything to protect his people, which is perhaps why he's leading an army against the rebellion, attacking only as a last result. But Sokka's unwinding, it's taking a toll on him, and the only thing keeping him grounded are the letter Zuko and him exchange late in the night when no one can see the messenger hawks. But as they say, nothing's fair in love and war.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (mentioned), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 145





	1. Flowers that Bloom During War

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new Zukka story!!! So if you read my last story, you know it was full of fluff and sibling bonding, and overall was a ray of sunshine. So… you’ve come to respect me and my zukka fluff, well… get ready to stop.
> 
> This idea hit me at 2 am like a goddamn freight train, and normally 2 am thoughts don’t have much respect for plot and what’s canon. Originally this was going to be a modern AU but I wasn’t vibing with that, so I decided to put this in the Avatar universe. That being said, I don’t know how much is really accurate, but we’re here to appreciate zukka, not judge my questionable choices… right?
> 
> So enjoy this very angsty story, with a happy ending of course. (oh, and Aang and Katara will show up later, I’m not gonna ignore them) Enjoy!!!
> 
> This story was also inspired by the song "Words" Gregory Alan Isakov. Oh and if you read my supernatural stuff, the love and war theme from Lay Down Your Wings is being used here because I really just feel in love with it. Okay no more notes...

**Chapter 1 - Flowers that Bloom During War**

“Sokka, Sir! What should we do?” Sokka’s eardrums rattled as the cannons shot off nearby, sending chunks of earth catapulting into the air and leaving the men to scramble from the area, screaming in fear, pain, _anguish_. Sokka whipped around, his highest ranking officer, behind him of course, stood stiffly an apprehensive expression unable to be contained.

“You know I won’t attack unless it's justified.”

“But sir-“

“They attacked first, I know. But I will not sacrifice any men in unnecessary combat. They can be disarmed. So… send in Toph.” The man soluted Sokka, hurrying off in the direction where the blind girl with jet black hair was barking orders. Sokka would have never risked anyone’s life, especially someone as close to family like Toph. But Toph wasn’t exactly some delicate little rose petal who could take a beating. No, she was a roaring hurricane, who could take a beating like no other, and in that moment, Sokka wasn’t concerned for Toph, he was concerned for the men who had to _face_ her.

Toph sent him a thumbs up, her feet buried in the rumble, feeling the vibration of every movement on the battlefield. With ease, she had spotted the main cannon from the opposing side, a large hunk of metal that would be completely impenetrable to any bender. That was true, with of course, the exception of Toph.

Sokka could remember the conversation with Toph about having the other metal benders join the fight. But after coming to the realization that they had spent the entirety of the conversation arguing for the same side, they knew they couldn’t involve them. They were still young in their training, and Sokka wouldn’t risk it. Toph had known their capabilities, but also understood the damage that war had on young minds.

Sokka and Toph knew all too well about that.

It may have been almost ten years since the 100 year war, but it still kept Sokka up at night. Back then, he would have attacked forcefully, but the situation was different now. These rebellions and their handling by the nations was being watched by the entire world. One slip up and a rebellion could escalate. So Sokka held back, never being the first attack, never being the one to kill unless absolutely necessary. Maybe he had spent far too much with Aang, or maybe the first war left a scar even he didn’t notice.

A shrill screech of crumbling metal and Sokka knew that Toph had hit her target. Sokka bellowed, storming the field, his sword in hand. It wasn’t his space sword, but it had been handcrafted by him, and the metal had been melted using the heat of the Firelord himself. It was the only possession that Sokka held dear, since he had arrived at the heart of the crisis.

Surely the Avatar should have been here if it was a crisis. That was Sokka’s first thought as news of the rebellion spread through the council like wildfire almost three months ago. But with the building of Republic City and a war brewing on its borders there, the Avatar could only be at one place at a time. So Sokka had raised his fist at that fateful meeting, and became the leader of the effort, at least on the battlefield. It was only a few seconds before Katara too raised her hand, but it was Sokka who shot her down.

He had to protect her. He would not let his little sister be dragged into another war. Sure, he knew that she could wipe out an entire army with a snap of her finger that could bring a tsunami over the enemy territory. But Katara was also far more… diplomatic than he was when it came to the early stages of a brewing war and after much deliberation, she agreed to travel to Republic City to help Aang. Thankfully for him however, the council had immediately agreed to Sokka joining the war effort. There was only one person against it. 

But the truth was, Sokka was so bullheaded, nothing was going to stop him anyway.

…

“Sir, would you like the count?” Sokka hated the count. It made his stomach twist into knots and his head swirl with anxiety and guilt. It would be all his fault. The blood would all be on his hands, even if he rationally went over the day and realized that it wasn’t. But still, leading men into a war, being their voice of reason, their support, it tore him into a million shattered fragments. Sokka really wanted to say no, but he knew the question was rhetorical. He gulped and nodded his head once. The man who had peaked around the flap of the tent at first had now come into the room, a scroll shaking in his hands. Sokka stopped his pacing and listened.

“We have in total, 137 injured, with 50 of those men unable to return to service after healing sessions. There are 4 unaccounted for, but no inclination of prisoner of war situation, and as of day we added 42 more to the death count. Sokka’s stomach dropped to his feet as he stared at the man. “In relation to past wars however, this is the lowest death count of men in any war in history. General Sokka, who are valiantly leading these men with honor and great strategy to ensure these men their safety and return to their families. Sokka scrunched up his face and growled, shortly dismissing the man from his tent. The advisor hadn’t made it ten feet from Sokka’s tent when Sokka turned around, and vomited.

His men (and women) had died. Some children were now without one parent, siblings without their brother or sister, parents without their child. There were those who would not return home to their partner, forever left with the emptiness at the bottom of their chests as the only human they loved more than life itself, had been taken from them. 

Sokka couldn’t believe the compliment that his advisor had given him. He felt as if he might hurl again. Instead, he choked down his overriding guilt and lightheadedness, and sat down at his desk, elaborate maps and plans sprawled out as needed. He made sure any evidence of his stomach upset was cleaned, although he ignored the bitter throb of his throat. There was little he could do to distract himself, so he picked up his pen, scratching down observations from the day, completely immersing himself in work. Every now and then he lifted his head, peaking through the open slit in his tent at the people that passed by. He saw Toph, chatting it up with a Kyoshi Warrior. He sighed, feeling the slightest bit of relief, seeing her okay. He desperately wished however that Suki was with him. Even if they were no longer a thing, she was his best friend, his sister in arms, his voice of reason in situations that left him feeling paralyzed. But Suki had been tasked with protecting the Firelord, the rebellions sending weekly assassination attempts to try and seize power. And Sokka would rather Suki be with the Firelord anyway. Suki was the most skilled fighter he knew, and protecting the Firelord became Sokka’s biggest priority outside the immediate battlefield.

His head shot up as the thought was drowned out by a low screech as if on cue, a hawk came soaring into his tent, a letter attached to its talons as it landed on its perch. Sokka grinned and burst from his seat, taking the letter and rubbing the hawk’s head with a thank you. The letter wasn’t fancy, and had no official seals, masking it with an ordinary, war unrelated style, but Sokka knew who it was from.

_Sokka,_

_I hope everything’s alright there. I’ve been hearing word of the daily counts, and while I know the lives that have been lost, you have been protecting your men the best you can. Please don’t destroy yourself over it, I know that you already are. But to help ease your mind in other ways, I am fine. There have been no signs of danger, and the nation itself has been surviving through this time._

_But let's please steer away from the topic of war._

_I saw Lupine growing in the courtyard, I know you planted it. It doesn’t really match the red and golden theme of the palace, but I like the change. You really just have to put “wolf” related things in my palace to stamp your name all over the place, don’t you? I would be mad, if it wasn’t so funny. But I do enjoy finding those things, they make me think of you. Come home soon, so you can see the Lupine bloom._ _~~I hope to the spirits that you come back to me.~~ _

_Write soon,_

_-Zuko_

Sokka ran his finger over the scratched out part, unable to read what it said, and silently cursing that he couldn’t see it. But he read what he could see over and over by the candle light until his eyes were strained and he had memorized the entire thing. 

He glanced towards the bed, feeling the power of its lull, sleep trying to shut down his senses. But then came the uproaring sensation of revolt towards himself. His men lay injured or worse, and those who were fine, didn’t have real beds to sleep on. Sokka picked up the blanket and dragged it and the pillow to the floor. He would sleep like everyone else. And in the morning, he’d give his bed up to somebody who needed it. He laid down on the ground, pulling out his pen and a blank sheet of paper, and began to write.


	2. Boomerangs Always Come Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 2!!!! Quick note, if you read chapter 1 before chapter 2 was published, I highly suggest going back and reading chapter 1 again. For some reason when I posted chapter 1, it did not save my edits so it came out all messy and with a few key details missing. But don't worry, I fixed those, and now here is a much nicer chapter 2!
> 
> Another note, I added Foo Foo in the story, because it made Sokka twice as badass and you can quote me on that. Get ready for some more angst! Also I know by the end of the chapter, you people are going to be freaking out on me, but I promise a happy ending is within grasp.
> 
> Comments make my day, Enjoy!

It had been four days since Zuko watched his letter fly off into the night, the shadow of the bird disappearing into the sea of stars that scattered across the sky. Despite how close they looked, each star was millions of miles apart. It must’ve been a lonely existence, to be a star.  
He leaned against the railing of his balcony, watching over his nation, as lights went out across the city and people slept peacefully. Zuko envied them and their restful nights. Zuko hadn’t slept in days.

He never slept well when he sent a letter. He instead spent that time worrying about Sokka. Would he get it? Would he respond? Was he alive to receive it? The letters were consistent for the most part, but they would never be the same as speaking to Sokka’s face. The days drew out into weeks and before Zuko knew it, it had been three months since he had last seen him; since the last time he kissed him goodbye.

The day would be engraved in his mind forever.

_“Sokka!” Zuko stormed down the palace steps and into the royal courtyard, his training wear replacing his normally stiff looking robes. His hair was a tangled mess as he hadn’t had time to fix it. He was not presentable in the eyes of the public and his servants nearly had a heart attack, seeing him storm from the palace and into the main courtyard, but he didn’t have time for such trivial conversations. Sokka was supposed to leave the following week. Not today. And what made it worse, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye._

_“What the hell, Sokka! You weren’t even going to say goodbye? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Zuko bellowed from across the courtyard. Sokka stopped dead in his tracks, his Saber-Tooth Moose Lion growling in complaint. He reached up to pat the oversized creature's nose, Foo Foo being almost the size of Appa. They had been reunited after Sokka and Zuko were stranded in the woods for a few days, two years back. Foo Foo has been by the water tribemen's side ever since, and war was no exception._

_Sokka hung his head, unable to turn around._

_“I said, what the hell Sokka!” Zuko tugged him around by the sleeve of his shirt and shoved him in the chest, so much so, Sokka stumbled backwards into Foo Foo. Sokka dared not to look up at the Firelord, but the stunning silence forced him no choice._

_“They need me now Zuko. I didn’t want to fight with you about it on the day I left.” Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. They had been fighting about Sokka joining the war effort for several weeks now, making them go to bed angry, and waking up in a stubborn silence that just erupted into more arguing. Two days prior, Zuko had gotten so enraged by Sokka's self-sacrificing, righteous personality that he had accidentally lit a tree on fire. He remembered the way the heat swarmed them. And worst of all, he remembered the way Sokka stomped off and didn’t come to bed that night._

_Perhaps it was selfish of Zuko to act this way, but he didn’t have much of a family, he certainly never had anyone like Sokka, and the thought of losing had torn him up, and in the process, torn them apart. It was Zuko’s fault, and yet here he was, fuming at Sokka on the last day he would see him for spirits knew how long._

_Zuko sighed in defeat._

_“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sokka. I don’t want to fight either, I’m just-” His words were cut off as Sokka pulled him into a back breaking hug, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, absorbing as much of Zuko’s warmth as he possibly could. Zuko sighed, burying his face in Sokka’s fur cape. The cape of a general._

_Sokka felt Zuko shudder in his arms and pulled away, looking him in the eye._

_“Sokka, promise me you’ll come back.” Sokka grinned._

_“Like a boomerang.” Zuko punched him lightly in the shoulder. Sokka turned away, whistling for Foo Foo who bounded up to him, a low rumble of excitement escaping the creature as he nodded for Sokka to climb on. Sokka held onto the edge of the saddle, clutching the reins that would pull him up onto Foo Foo’s massive back, but paused. He whipped around, grasped Zuko’s shirt and kissed him._

_“Like a boomerang.” Sokka repeated, climbing up onto the saddle and looking at Zuko one last time._

…

Now Zuko stared up at the fading stars as the earliest moments of dawn began to surface on the other side of his nation, a glimpse of light purple fighting against the darkness that surrounded him until the sun would peak through the valley’s and wake the nation up.

He hadn’t so much as thought about sleep until this moment, and desperately fought against the idea, as within a few hours, he would have to start his day. Zuko sighed, realizing no letter would come on this night, and turned away from the daybreak. He tossed open the large balcony doors, the glass gleaming with the first hint of light on the horizon, but stopped when he heard a screech.

Following the last of the stars and moon's sickle smile, was a red tailed hawk, with a beak that might as well have been made of gold by the way it stood out against the rich brown feathers. It held a letter in its talons, dropping it into Zuko’s open hand in one swoop, and disappeared over the high walls of the palace.

He barely had time to process the letter fluttering between his fingers with the light breeze, before he was already opening it. But something stopped him. He always took a steady pause before ripping open the note and absorbing the ink writing inside for the same fear that plagued his every waking moment.

What if Sokka hadn’t made it? What if this was the announcement of his death? He brutally fought the thought, and the turmoil it created in his head, but it still left him with a few seconds of hesitation. With a shaky exhale, he tore off the seal and unfolded the letter, relaxing when he saw Sokka’s handwriting marking the date of the letter.

_Zuko,_

_I am alive. My men are… I hate the daily count. I know you say not to beat myself up about it, but all I can think about are the men and women who won’t go home to children, parents, their partners. They say I’ve saved the lives of so many, but people still die and it's on me. Zuko, what if I didn’t come home to you? Look what I would have done, and in that instance, there would be nobody to blame but myself. Just as I am responsible for every soldier who dies for me. I try not to think about it, but it’s not exactly an on/off switch._

_But aside from that, you found the Lupine! It’s not the only thing I hid around the place, just to keep you on your toes. I unfortunately didn’t hire anybody to jump out and scare you throughout the time I’m away, only because that did not go well with Suki. She said whether it was a harmless prank on the Firelord or not, they would most likely end up dead at the hands of the very overprotective Kyoshi Warriors. Not that she’s wrong but still, buzzkill._

_Anywho, I also wanted to let you know that Toph is well, she’s kicking ass as always, oh and Ty Lee is okay too. Admittedly, it’s nice to have her around. She makes things more… bubbly. Not that I’m not loving the blood and cannons, and death. It’s really all just a walk in the park. I’ll write soon, but in case this letter is intercepted, I will not detail any plans, but I will have a letter by the next full moon, I promise._

_I miss you. I miss your stupid hair and your stupid smile. But I will come home. I’m like a boomerang._

_I always come back._

_-Sokka (The great Southern Water Tribe Ambassador, General, Heir to Water Tribe, and overall amazing human + a pretty great boyfriend if I do say so myself.)_

Zuko threw his head back and laughed at the sign off, however he knew the sarcasm that was laced into those words, he knew better than anyone (except for maybe Katara) that Sokka was struggling. With what exactly, Zuko could not pinpoint, but he could see the confidence and self esteem slip away into a forever lingering of fear.

…

Sunlight couldn’t be seen even if it was late in the morning. The mountain fog made sure of that, and with that sent in a bitter chill. The men in Sokka’s division shook from the cold, coughing and sniffling, their hair wet and stuck to their foreheads as they marched through the mountain pass. A fleet of flying bison sounded great right about now.

Ahead of the men, and wagons filled with the injured and supply carts, was the general on top of the Saber-Tooth Moose Lion, the creature that the enemy had begun to fear. It’s roar could be heard across valleys, and with the rebellion making the only real offenses, the sound often sent them in a retreat.

“General Sokka! I have word from the eastern division that the rebellions surrendered! If we attack the western rebellion now, we can win this within the next month!” Sokka raised his eyebrows at the advisor, his ostrich horse struggling to keep up with Foo Foo’s long strides.

“We won’t win anything, if we attack and you know that. This must only be a message of bringing peace, not chaos.” Sokka’s voice held a threatening tone, as he pulled Foo Foo to a slower pace. “But that is good news. Make the sure leaders of the rebellion face trials back at Republic City. Send word to Aang to ensure that.”

“The avatar sir? He and Master Katara are in Ba Sing Se.”

“Why the hell are they in Ba Sing Se? There is war brewing on the territory of Republic City, why aren’t they there?” The Advisor fished around in his robe pockets before pulling out nearly a stack of paper, which Sokka identified immediately as a letter from Katara. Her letters were always overwhelmingly long.

“Master Katara explains everything sir. The letter arrived about an hour ago.”

“And you didn’t think to give it to me then? When it’s from my sister, it isn’t a matter of strategy or politics.” Sokka growled at the advisor and snatched the paper from his hand, waving the man off with an annoyed sigh. He quickly pulled off to the side of the mountain pass, allowing his men to pass in front of him. He began to scan the letters when he saw one of his men fall behind, his body shaking with cold and his skin ghostly pale. Sokka slid off Foo Foo and stopped the soldier. He had just barely seen the man before, barely more than a boy with a scar on his lower lip and curly brown hair.

“General Sokka? Is… Is everything alright?” The soldier shrunk back, a reaction Sokka had not expected. The other men in the division greeted Sokka like an official, their heads bowing with respect, but never once did anyone fear him.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. You look sick, you should go rest in one of the wagons.” The soldier shook his head.

“No, No I’ll be okay.” Sokka bit his lip as the soldier stifled a wince. Without a second’s thought, he pulled his armor off. It was his traditional water tribe armor, with thick wool lining the inside. It left him in nothing but his sparring clothes.

“Take it. That’s an order.” Sokka said with a wink, pushing the armor into the soldier’s hands. He climbed back on Foo Foo with a slight shudder from the wind, then carried on, leaving the flabbergasted soldier to move on. He fumbled with the paper in his hands, now damp from the mist coming off the cliff side and read his sister’s fancy lettering.

_Sokka,_

_The Earth King and Aang are working on an important treaty for the land that will become Republic city. I know of the war brewing, and I was there putting an end to it up until a few days ago, when Aang called for me. Ba Sing Se is still refusing to help in any way. I really have grown to dislike that city, the Dai Li are still corrupted and I fear they will only make matters worse. I’ve been fighting them for three days now, and I’m about to freeze all of them in a block of ice. One actually dared to put a hand on me, and let's just say he’s going to be recovering from frostbite for the next several weeks. For now however, Republic City and any threats there have calmed for a moment pass, but I expect things to arise again with the announcement of the treaty. Aang will have to stay in the area for now, but if there is a chance to come help where you are, we will be on our way. You can’t keep me sheltered from it forever, although I know you do it from a place of love._

_In other news, Aang and I have decided to hold the wedding off until you return, as the rebellions threw everything off and Aang certainly will not get married without his best man. And I suppose I can’t get married without my big brother there._

Sokka grinned at her sarcastic comment.

_We’re thinking about getting married at the southern air temple, so when you put down the rebellion, you and Zuko can meet us there. I exchanged letters with Zuko recently, he really is worried about you. Just don’t forget to tell him that you love him, okay? I know you can be overly wrapped up with those complex plans of yours, your head really is your own enemy. Aang and I also want to give Zuko and you some time to reunite before any wedding, and of course give us time to prep. With the rebellions or Republic City, not much has been done for preparations._

_Oh! But I did find my mother's wedding dress. It’s a little snug at the waist, but it will do beautifully. You’re gonna love it Sokka! I found an old painting of mom and dad on their wedding day, and she looks like me, or I guess, I look like her._

_But you’ll just have to wait until the day to see me. You know, I hope you get your head out of your ass soon and propose to Zuko. We both know he isn’t confrontational when it comes to you, he took forever just to tell you that he liked you. So I’m afraid brother, the proposal is probably up to you, though there is not a doubt in my mind that he’d say yes._

_Anyway, I know you are busy so I’ll let you get to work, but please be safe! Write soon, and don’t forget to tell Zuko you love him, I know how you are about “love letters,” but you can give up the act, we ALL know you are a heartless romantic._

_Come home soon,_   
_~Katara_

Sokka read the letter twice over, with one hand gripping Foo Foo’s thick fur as the lion charged up the mountain pass after the others. His skin was coated in goosebumps as he shivered from the dropping temperature, but he ignored it as Foo Foo moved towards the men. As he got closer, he found that they had all stopped.

“General? What should we do?” Sokka jumped off Foo Foo, who’s nostrils flared and ears rose high, a dangerously low growl growing deep within his chest. Sokka gave him a quick pat and pushed through the crowd until he reached the edge of the pass and looked below towards the sloping hill and across a misty plains. It might have even been picturesque, if of course, it wasn’t for the massive blockade of soldiers all dressed in the rebellions bright orange flags and black armor. They knew that Sokka and his men would be coming. Sokka didn’t want to attack, and he wouldn’t attack first, but if he didn’t attack from the highgrounds, then the lives lost would be beyond devastating.

“What should we do?” The advisor asked again. Sokka stood tall, Toph coming up to his side.

“What do you think?” He asked, turning to Toph and resting a hand on her shoulder.

“I can’t metalbend all the way up here, but I have plenty of rock. Look Sokka, you know that there is no getting out of this without a fight. They know you won’t attack first, that’s why they’re there. Either you initiate a fight or we have a standstill and we starve to death up here. Or freeze, whatever comes first.” Sokka ran a hand through his hair, pushing the loose strands free from his wolf’s tail and growled. With a bitter curse under his breath, Sokka turned to his men.

“We stay the night here. They will not attack us, I can see what their plan is. It’s to let us starve and freeze up here because they know we will not initiate an attack. I will work out a plan tonight, but we have enough rations to get us through the next few days up here. Build some fires, set up tents, I will tell you more as soon as I can.” The soldiers seemed somewhat satisfied with the order, knowing that they could trust the general with anything. And they dispersed, with a line of men standing guard.

Sokka wasted no time to set up his tent, feeding Foo Foo, and settling into his sleeping bag, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and his pen.

_Zuko,_

_I don’t know what to do. I can’t- I won’t attack these people, they are angry, and fear is controlling them. I know how fear corrupts, how it molds people into something else. But I have no choice. I either bring the fight of our lives and risk the lives of everyone of my men and the men in the rebellion, or my men all starve and freeze to death. I- I don’t know what to do. I need you, I really need you._

_I will do what I have to do to protect our people, but I-_

_I don’t know. I know by the time you get this, actions will already be taken. I told the men I will have a plan, I am the man with a plan, but I have nothing. I just really could use some fire flakes and our warm bed._

_I really could use some of your firebending right now. I don’t even know why I’m writing this to you, but I’m trying to hear you voice of reason, or maybe I’m trying to hear Iroh’s voice of reason, who knows anymore. But I can’t talk to anyone here about this stuff. Toph tells it like it is, and I’d rather not hear it and my men look up to me. I wonder how my father did it, lead the water tribe through the war that is._

_~~I love you~~ I miss you._   
_-Sokka_

Sokka considered adding the “I love you” but scratched it out the second he read it over. It wasn’t that Sokka didn’t love Zuko, he loved him with every ounce of his being, but writing it out not only seemed cliche, but it sounded similar to a death note, one Sokka never wanted to write. If he wrote “I love you,” then in Sokka’s head, meant “I’m going to die and I won’t be able to say it to you again.” The idea of that sent chills down his spine. He wanted to write more, he wanted to pour all his emotions out onto the page, but he just didn’t have the stomach for it, nor did he have the time. So he sealed the letter quickly, tied it to the first hawk he saw and sent it off to Zuko in the night, where there wasn’t a star in the sky, nor the moon to guide him down a path he once was so sure of.

…

The hawk flew as fast as it could, and what normally took two days to reach the Fire Nation, only took a matter of hours, by the urgency in which he was told. By daybreak, the palace was in the hawk’s sights, but the Firelord was not waiting for him on the balcony, nor were the balcony doors open. So the hawk landed, and pecked at glass until the firelord appeared, exhausted and disheveled before him. The hawk let out a cry and took off, leaving the letter at Zuko’s feet. Panicked, Zuko snatched the letter up and unrolled it.

…

When morning came, Sokka had only slept an hour, but his detailed plans were laid out, nice and neat and ready for execution. He hated everything about this plan, but he had no choice.

The sun had just graced the men with its presence, reaching out through the thin line of clouds on the mountain pass, and while the light was welcomed, the temperatures still tore at the hope of Sokka’s men. But when the sun came up, the plans were in action and Sokka led his army into battle.

“Archers and earth benders stay on the mountain pass. Protect the injured, and fire only as directed. Only attack in the far back, weaken their defenses, and this way it prevents our arrows and rocks from accidentally hitting our men who fight down below.” Sokka pointed at a small group of men to his right. “You guys are going to be Toph’s eyes. She can’t see arrows and you are to ensure she gets to the catapults and cannons. Once she knocks down those, all hell’s gonna break loose.”

“Aye Aye Captain!” Toph saluted him, a grin on her face.

“The rest of you are going into the valley with me. I know I said we wouldn’t make the first move, but we will not survive if we don’t. We also won’t survive if we try and retreat back down the mountain pass. We have no choice.” Sokka nodded, as his men let out a chorus of “yes sirs” and departed to their stations.

“Oh, and Ty Lee? You and the other Kyoshi warriors are to block the bending of only those who attack first. We still want to maintain moral grounding.” Sokka gulped as he looked down at the army of rebels.

The rebels were ready for them, but of course they could never be fully prepared for the wrath of Toph, but even she had her limitations. Sokka stood at the top of the valley, his best men at his side, while the archers and earth benders stood across the mountain side, using the high ground to their advantage. He climbed on Foo Foo and with a raise of his sword, his men came down the mountain towards the rebellion. Foo Foo snarled as they came to a stop, and Sokka slid off the saddle, taking in a deep breath.

“We don’t have to do this! We can end this, right now, peacefully. No lives need to be lost.” Sokka dropped his sword to his feet, showing his ability to compromise and let peace win. Within the seconds, the rebellion had reacted with a full force charge, cannons firing, benders attacking, and swords raised in the air. Well so much for that! Sokka climbed onto Foo Foo, who roared at the enemy and led the charge.

For the next several minutes, the battle was a complete blur. People screamed, cried out as their final breath was ripped from their lungs, swords stuck each other with the force of booming thunder, and a million images passed before their eyes with each second that passed on the battlefield. Foo Foo had sprinted down the valley, crushing rebels under his massive weight and using his antlers to throw tanks into the cliff side, Sokka swinging his sword at the rebels who tried to slash their way through Foo Foo.

It was one of the last things Sokka remembered. A man had thrown an axe at Foo Foo, and Sokka had immediately reacted, sliding out of the saddle and hitting the axe with a boomerang, the axe as result, sent tumbling to the ground. Sokka charged at the man, his sword plunging into his chest in the most sickening feeling Sokka had ever had. But he kept going, kept pushing through the crowd, waving the handcrafted sword.

The very last thing Sokka remembered, was the soldier boy he had given his armor to cry out as a group of rebels twice his size surrounded him. Sokka remembered throwing himself in the middle, desperate to protect his men, and knocking out at least three of the men, and potentially fatally injuring one who had tried to stab the young soldier in the chest. Sokka wiped the blood from his face, and glanced at his sword, it’s shiny metal gleaming in the light. However, he barely got the chance to see the reflection behind him when he felt his nervous system explode, his knees grow weak, and wildfire rage from the center of his body all the way up to his brain who had yet to process what had happened.

Sokka blinked once, glancing up at the sky, hoping to see stars smiling at him, but it was the middle of the day, and there would be no hope to guide him. Sokka had thrown his boomerang a second before he truly processed what had happened, striking the figure who had come up from behind, forcing the blade to be pulled from his skin. The boomerang clattered into the grass.

Pain erupted like lava through him and his breath was sucked from the bitter cold air, hitching his throat as he looked down, blood spreading across his abdomen, sickly wet and hot against his skin, impossibly dark as it began to engulf him like a black hole.

He crumbled to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much for reading! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	3. By the Light of Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone and welcome to chapter three! Things are going to be done a little bit differently this chapter, because Sokka’s currently out of commission ( I mean come on, the dude was just freakin stabbed he ain’t doin’ so hot.) But to distract from the obviously urgent matters, we’re gonna get some Zukka flashbacks in here too. 
> 
> Also big thank you to everyone who is following!!!

**Chapter 3 - By the Light of Day**

Zuko had found himself laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling at the first break of dawn. He usually rose with the sun, but he hadn’t slept much that night, so what was the point of rising? He let himself day-dream over nothing in particular, too exhausted to think, but too nervous to sleep. His room was completely silent, eerily so. When Sokka was here, the room would be filled with his incoherent, sleepy mumbles, obnoxious snores, and rustling of blankets. Zuko stretched his hand out across the empty side of the bed. It was cold and flat. He sighed and kept his arm outstretched there, hoping Sokka’s calloused fingers would reach out to squeeze his hand. He thought about those eyes and lopsided grin, so much so he almost didn’t notice the rattling of his balcony door. 

Thankfully he did notice, and he curiously crawled out of bed, throwing open the glass balcony doors, only to see a tired hawk at his feet. The hawk let out a cry and took off, leaving the letter on the balcony. Panic rising up his throat, Zuko snatched the letter up and unrolled it.

_ Zuko,  _

_ I don’t know what to do. I can’t- I won’t attack these people, they are angry, and fear is controlling them. I know how fear corrupts, how it molds people into something else. But I have no choice. I either bring the fight of our lives and risk the lives of everyone of my men and the men in the rebellion, or my men all starve and freeze to death. I- I don’t know what to do. I need you, I really need you. _

_ I will do what I have to do to protect our people, but I- _

_ I don’t know. I know by the time you get this, actions will already be taken. I told the men I will have a plan, I am the man with a plan, but I have nothing. I just really could use some fire flakes and our warm bed. _

_ I really could use some of your firebending right now. I don’t even know why I’m writing this to you, but I’m trying to hear you voice of reason, or maybe I’m trying to hear Iroh’s voice of reason, who knows anymore. But I can’t talk to anyone here about this stuff. Toph tells it like it is, and I’d rather not hear it and my men look up to me. I wonder how my father did it, lead the water tribe through the war that is.  _

~~_ I love you  _ ~~ _ I miss you. _ __

_ -Sokka _

Zuko let an audible gasp escape. He had never in his time spent with Sokka received a letter like this. He sounded so distraught, so fearful for the future, full of insecurity. That was not the Sokka he knew. For a split second, Zuko thought maybe it was an imposter, staging as Sokka to lure the Firelord towards the war as another assassination attempt. But the way Sokka scribbled his name at the bottom proved that this was a real letter. Zuko wasn’t sure which was worse.

He scanned the letter over again, running his fingers across a messily scratched out part, wondering what it said.  _ Probably just a writing mistake _ , Zuko told himself, and dropped any further thoughts on the matter.

But the letter was concerning. Without a second’s hesitation, Zuko ran back into his chamber, pulled out two sheets of paper and began to frantically write two different letters.

_ Dear Katara… _

…

Katara leaned forward in her chair, interlacing her fingers and narrowing her eyes at the man that paced before her. He was talking, but she wasn’t listening. This chauvinistic pig still deemed the corrupt Dai Li as the greatest to ever walk the earth and that there was no place for women in the King’s cabinet. Katara looked up and smiled sweetly at him and his fat mustache and stupid, blubbering scowl. She sighed, letting her rage subside for a second while she handled the man,  _ diplomatically. _ Her smile was unnerving to the other men in the cabinet and they shrank back, knowing the cannon that was about to go off.

“Well if there is no place for women here, then in that case, there is no place for the closed minded who are unable to help the people of Ba Sing Se in the cabinet, as I believe, that this cabinet was created to protect and represent the people.” Katara held up a piece of paper, the latest statistics documented for her note. “And last I checked, the population of Ba Sing Se is made up of 53% women.” Katara stood as the Dai Li agent began to scramble for a retort, but she cut him off again, jabbing a finger into his chest.

“So unless you are willing to sit down and allow the representation of  _ everyone  _ in Ba Sing Se, I will personally show you the door with a tidal wave without a second’s hesitation.” The Dai Li agent leaned in, sneering. Katara smirked, drawing water from the cups in the room and bringing it to her hands, creating tiny daggers out of the ice.

“That is, unless you want to fight me on it. Then I’d be happy to oblige. However this meeting is to remain civil and diplomatic, so I am simply giving you my response, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take this outside later.” The man’s eyes widened and stumbled back, his fist still clenched, but Katara had successfully shut him up.

She had gotten good at beating the crap out of the Dai Li, and she didn’t even have to water bend at them. All the other cabinet members watched in complete shock and didn’t mention a single thing regarding inequality at the meeting again.

Maybe years ago, she would have snapped after 30 seconds of being in that man’s presence, and had frozen his head with his own sweat. But she had grown up a lot in the last ten years, growing taller, training until she was unimaginably powerful, -some added muscle also helped- and looking less like a girl and more like a woman. She was still feared across the land for her abilities, still respected by thousands, but now she was also known all over the world for someone other than the Avatar’s girlfriend. Not that she minded the added title, but she made her name known, not for her closeness to the Avatar, but for her healing and fighting skills that helped to end the war. She was a force to be reckoned with, but there were still some who refused to look past the fact that she was a woman.

When the meeting was over, Katara pushed out her seat and stood, tucking back her hair loopies and stretching. The men filed out of the room quickly, happy to retire for the evening and return home to their families. Only the Dai Li agent remained.

“You little bitch.” He snarled, gripping his fists and allowing stone to surround around his hand. Katara whipped around.

“Say it again.” The man’s lips curled into a sneer as he opened his mouth, the ‘b’ ready to roll off his tongue. 

“Master Katara! You have an urgent letter from the Fire Lord.” Her glare dropped into an apprehensive expression as she snatched the letter in from the messengers hands. Before she unrolled it, she turned around to the agent.

“Oh you do remember my very close friend, the Fire Lord, don’t you? Oh and I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but do you know my fiance, the Avatar? I can kick your ass any day of the week, but you call me a bitch again, it’s not just me you’ll have to worry about.” With a devilish grin, she stalked off, leaving the Dai Li agent pale in color and scurrying from the building. She held the letter tight in her hands as she left the palace and made her way towards the apartment Aang and her were sharing for the time being.

On the off chance Zuko needed Aang to see the letter as well, Katara thought it may have been best to read it with him. Luckily, Aang was behind the apartment, vigorously brushing Appa.

“Hey babe! How was the cabinet meeting?” He greeted with a grunt as he reached up to pull the loose tufts of fur from Appa’s side. 

“Oh wait till I tell you about it. But first.” She held up the letter from Zuko. “I got an urgent letter from Zuko, I haven’t read it yet, but-”

“Then what are you waiting for, Katara?” Katara nodded as Aang came closer to look over his shoulder. She unfolded the document and scanned the words on the page.

_ Dear Katara, _

_ I have just received a very distraught and concerning letter from your brother. You know how his letters are normally full of stupid puns and upbeat attitudes… this was not that. He sounded scared, and I fear something has happened to his division in his fight against the rebellion. He said something about having to attack first or the death of all his men would be on his hands, and that worries me. I understand the importance of the Ba Sing Se treaty and the territory for Republic city, but please, either you or Aang need to get to the heart of the rebellion to check up on the division. I know Sokka is a very capable man, strong-willed, strategic, and empathetic, but he is also blind to his own well being if it means the safety and protection of others. I would go, but the Kyoshi Warriors won’t even let off the palace grounds, let alone to the heart of the crisis. I feel completely, and utterly useless, which is why I am asking.  _

_ By the time you get this, please note that the White Lotus had been called to deal with revolts near the Republic City border to assist you in that regard. _

_ Stay safe, and write me as soon as you reach Sokka… no matter what happened. _

_ -Zuko _

Katara sighed deeply as she finished the letter, leaning back into Aang for a source of comfort.

“What are we going to do? What if-”

“Katara, we have to remain optimistic. Let’s go get Sokka. And then, I’m shutting that rebellion down once and for all.”

…

The letter to Katara was not the only one Zuko had sent. He also wrote one to Sokka, hoping to the spirits that he would get it. Zuko knew that Sokka would be pissed to learn that he sent Aang and Katara to check up on him, but Zuko quite frankly, didn’t care. He could deal with Sokka’s angry letters later, and he would have taken a bunch of screaming notes any day to the worry that plagued him of the unknown.

_ Sokka, _

_ Please write to me immediately so that I know you’re okay. Your last letter appeared so distraught and I’m concerned… _

_ Scratch that- I’m worried sick about you. I need to know what happened, please give me detailed information about the battle, the count, and your safety. As Fire Lord it is my duty to look out for my people. But as your boyfriend, the only thing I can possibly think about is you and your well being. Please write as soon as you can. _

_ I love you. _

_ -Zuko _

…

_ Light. It was the first thing he noticed. The world felt hazy around him, but then a face came into view, with eyes of gold, bright enough to take on the sun. He smiled, the shadow coming into clear view with a smirk on his lips and crinkle in his eyes. _

_ “I win.” Sokka heaved out, feeling the grass tickle his bare skin as he pressed himself into the earth.  _

_ “How? I’m the one who's got you pinned.” Zuko grinned, as he deepened the pressure of his hand on Sokka’s wrist. Sokka raised his eyebrows and licked his lips. _

_ “Exactly.” Zuko laughed breathlessly at Sokka’s answer. The heat beat down on them, but Sokka didn’t mind, with the shade that Zuko provided as he held him pinned to the ground, both of them covered in sweat and dirt. Zuko leaned down, trying to come across as intimidating, with his eyes in a fake glare, that only came off as adorable to Sokka. Their noses brushed together as they laughed. Then Sokka smirked and lifted his head just enough to peck Zuko on the lips. It was swift, but it caught Zuko off guard just enough for Sokka to twist his body out from underneath him, and use his feet to kick Zuko into the grass beside him. Zuko let out a grunt as Sokka bounced up, grabbed the sword that had been abandoned a few feet away from them, and pressed the tip to Zuko’s throat. _

_ “Now I double win.” Sokka snarked. “You may have firebending on your side, but I have the power of charisma and devilishly handsome good looks.” Zuko groaned, throwing his head back into the grass. _

_ “All right Mister show off. You and your humble attitude can fuck off.” Sokka’s face fell into a fake pout as he dropped the sword and collapsed breathlessly next to him. _

_ “You’re just a sore loser, is all.” Sokka reached out and found Zuko’s hand. Zuko turned his head to face him, smiling softly.  _

_ “And you are a very gracious winner.” Zuko snarked sarcastically, interlacing their fingers. Sokka grinned and used his other hand to push back his loose hair. _

_ “Best out of three?”  _

_ “You’re on.” _

  
  


...

Toph tucked her hair back and licked her lips. They were dry along with the rest of her mouth from barking orders all day.  _ How did Sokka do it? _ She wondered to herself as she surveyed the camp. The battle had been a complete success thanks to Sokka’s clever and quick plan that ended up saving everyone in the division and weakening the rebellion to the point where they were nothing but a small fleet of angry and confused people that could be easily controlled in two weeks maximum. Of course all that had come at a terrible cost.

Toph tried not to think about it, her eyes welled with tears at just the thought of- no,  _ no _ , that wouldn’t happen. It wouldn’t end like this.

“ _ Well Toph, I think this might be the end.” _ The words echoed through her head as she distinctly remembered dangling in the air, feeling nothing but the fading strength of Sokka’s hand. But it wasn’t the end. Toph held onto hope then, and she held onto hope now.

She also found herself holding onto Foo Foo who laid at her feet, whining nervously for Sokka. Toph rubbed his nose, trying to provide some sense of comfort.

“Master Toph?” 

“What?” Toph snarled at the advisor, a scrawny little man whose heart rate moved faster than anyone Toph had ever felt. The advisor came forward and dropped a piece of paper in her hands.

“Letter from the Firelord.” Her heart dropped to her stomach as she thought about poor Zuko, worried enough as it was, and he didn’t even  _ know _ . 

“Oh yes, thank you. Because you telling me it's a letter is very helpful, but don’t you think it would also be helpful to  _ see _ the words on the letter.” She scoffed bitterly, her own stress radiating off into her tone, enough to make the advisor heartbeat pick even more. He made a little noise and took the letter again, unrolling it and reading it aloud. Toph took in and processed every word, but then the advisor said the  _ I love you,  _ and it took everything she had not to throw a rock at the moon.

Zuko didn’t know.  _ Zuko didn’t know _ . And she was the only one who could tell him.

“Do you have a pen and paper on you? I need you to write down exactly what I say.” The advisor scrambled for the supplies and promptly sat in front of her, nodding for her to continue.

“ _ Dear Zuko…”  _ Normally Toph had some smartass name for him, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to joke.

“ _ It’s Toph _ .  _ I received your letter that was meant for Sokka… He didn’t get it and he won’t get it. The battle was a complete success and the rebellion is almost resolved, and Sokka is a hero. He saved all of us, he is an amazing leader. Sokka was concerned for another life on the battlefield, he went in to save the soldier and he did, but he failed to watch his own back. _ ” Toph sucked in her breath. How was she supposed to tell Zuko the truth? How was she supposed to just  _ say  _ what happened? She could barely bring herself to think about it. She clenched her fists and continued.

“ _He was stabbed, Zuko. Clean through the abdomen. He is alive, but in critical condition. I can feel… I can feel his heartbeat, and it's not strong. He lost a lot of blood. I am in charge at the moment and we are making our way down the mountain passes, and will be taking the cave of two lovers on our way to the nearest hospital which will be Omashu. He’s in a medical tent, but if I don’t get him to a medic soon, Zuko, he will… He won’t make it. We need a healer of Katara’s power, and by the time you get this, I will have already contacted her. I’m so sorry Zuko. We’ll do what we can._ ” Toph wiped the tears from her eyes. She decided it was best to leave it at that and demanded the advisor that he send the letter immediately. The advisor grabbed the fastest Hawk, who happened to be Hawkie, and watched as it took off into the night.

“It’s been sent.” Toph nodded and stared off into the distance. While all her life all she could ever see was darkness, it was now that she truly felt it.

“Grab more paper. We have another letter to write.”

…

_ Sunlight. It glistened through the large windows of the Fire Lord’s chamber at the earliest breaks of dawn. It wasn’t gentle on Sokka’s eyes, sending a blaring red heat through his eyelids, but it was still welcoming. The night had been a particularly rough one. Nightmares plagued his sleep, causing him to shout and scream late in the night, tears forming wet spots on his pillows. He would wake sometimes not remembering the dreams details, but felt a sharp pain writing through him. Other times he did remember them. Ones where his father was killed in battle, ones where he was forced to hold Katara’s dead body. But the worst two sent him bolting upright in bed, sweat beading down his face and a soundless scream leaving his throat. The first one was of him falling off the airship, Toph’s hand slipping from his as the two of them plummeted to the ground. The other one was of Zuko. _

_ It wasn't rational in thinking, but it scared him the most. It was one where Zuko had the aggressive sneer on his face and his shaved head except for the ponytail, as he stared Sokka down, plunging a knife into his heart. It was by far the worst, but even as scary as the dream was, it was waking up from it that was the hardest. _

_ Zuko and Sokka had only kissed a handful of times when Sokka had the dream again. He had sat up in bed, alone in his room like always, but it felt far more unsettling than he wanted, and before he knew what he was doing, he had made it halfway to Zuko’s room. _

_ He knocked on the door in a soft rasp, trying to calm his labored breathing, and turned away when he got no response. But then the door creaked open and Zuko’s tired expression could be seen. _

_ “Sokka?” His eyes widened when he saw Sokka’s disgruntled and apprehensive look. He tossed open the door. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “I-I” It had been a mistake to come here. Sokka felt like spriting back to his room and hiding under his covers, but the shadows that hunted him from the corners of his room kept him frozen in place. _

_ “Come here.” Zuko pulled him into his room, shutting the door behind them and led him to the massive bed. “Sokka what happened?” Sokka inhaled shakily. _

_ “Nightmares. They just wake me up all panicky that’s all. I’m sorry I woke you.” _

_ “You- You didn’t wake me. And I understand. I have them too. What was it about?” Sokka looked up to greet his eyes, still ringed golden even in the darkness. For a split second, he had a flashback to his dream, with Zuko’s cold, dead eyes staring him down. He bit his lip and vigorously shook his head. _

_ “Can I stay here?” Zuko was surprised by the question, but easily smiled and nodded in response. Sokka figured it would be okay. They had shared two pretty emotional kisses recently and while they had yet to figure out a label or the details of their little… thing… Sokka figured a harmless night of just sleeping, would be okay. _

_ And just like that, Zuko curled around him under the mountain of blankets on his bed, the two gripping each other as if they would plunge into the darkness if they let go. Sokka nuzzled his face into Zuko’s neck and with that, they had fallen asleep. _

_ So when the morning came, and Sokka was the first to wake, that was a bit surprising. He welcomed the warmth of the sun on his skin, but much preferred the warmth radiating next to him as he held Zuko’s body close to his. But Zuko was still in a deep sleep, something that was unusual for the early riser. _

_ “Zuko?” Sokka whispered, not wanting to disturb him, but also had to address his own rising concern for the Fire Lord. Zuko stirred, tucking his head under the blankets with a soft sigh. _

_ “Hmm?” _

_ “It’s morning.” Zuko’s eyes snapped open. _

_ “Oh.”  _

_ “N-not to rush anything. It’s just unusual for you to sleep in, is all.” Sokka whispered with a shrug, wrapping his arms tighter around Zuko’s hips. _

_ “That’s okay. That was the best sleep I’ve had in awhile.” He said with a yawn. Sokka beamed. _

_ “Yeah, me too.” _

…

Katara had received Toph’s letter from the hawk that nearly collided with Appa as the bison flew as fast he could. The letter would have taken five days to reach her in Ba Sing Se, but Appa was fast and Katara was only hours from the division’s current station.

The hawk had let out a tired cry before returning back to the station, in which Aang flicked Appa’s reins and followed the bird.

“What is it?” Aang called, his words being broken up by the rough wind. Katara held the letter between her teeth to keep it from flying off as she tied back her hair in a bun. She gave a muffled response and as soon as her hair was free from her face, she opened the scroll.

_ Katara, _

_ It’s Toph. _

That was strange already. Toph rarely wrote unless she had to, but when she did write, it always opened with some snarky nickname that only her and Sokka found funny. She gripped the letter tighter, quickly reading over her words.

_ Sokka’s hurt. Like really bad. We need you immediately, or he doesn’t stand a chance. We are on our way to Omashu and by the time you receive this we should be on the other side of the Cave of Two Lovers, but that is assuming you’re still in Ba Sing Se. If Zuko sent you a letter, you may be closer to us, so follow the path and you’ll find us. _

_ Hurry. _

Katara gasped, holding the letter so tight that it crumbled in her fingertips.

“What is it?” Aang whipped around to see tears rolling down Katara’s cheeks and her shoulder shaking. “Katara?” Aang crawled up into the saddle, embracing her without a second’s hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” She shoved the letter into his hands.

“Sokka!” She couldn’t even get the words out. She felt like puking. Aang scanned over the letter with wide eyes.

“Oh spirits. Appa faster!” The bison bellowed and pushed further on. Aang held Katara in his arms, resting his chin on her head.

“He’s as tough as they come, Katara. He’ll come through.” Katara tried to nod but her breath was so hitched in her throat she was frozen in place. By the sound of the letter, Sokka’s life depended on her. If Aang wasn’t holding on so tight, she might have leaned over the edge and thrown up.

She could only imagine how Zuko felt.

…

Zuko received two letters, only seconds apart. One was from Momo and the other from Hawkie. Normally he would have been ecstatic to see both, but when they came into view, scrolls in their feet, Zukko’s whole body went numb.

The first had his name in cursive, undoubtedly Katara’s handwriting, and the other… was not Sokka. His breath hitched in his throat as he ripped both open at the same time, scanning the words of both letters, but realized it was too confusing to read both simultaneously. So he started over, looking at the unknown handwriting first.

_ Zuko... _

He read his name, processed his name, but by the time he finished the rest of the letter, everything he had ever known had suddenly fled. His legs felt like jello, like he might just crumble if he moved, but his arms felt frozen in place as he held the note. Realizing he had Katara’s note still to read, he gulped and shakily began to read.

_ I am on my way to Sokka, this instance. He’s been stabbed, Zuko, and he’s not doing well. I know you’re under strict lockdown with the Kyoshi Warriors, but you need to get to him. I don’t… I’m not sure what to expect exactly, which is why you have to get to him. They are on their way to Omashu for better medical help. _

_ Aang and I are only a couple of hours from the city. Take Momo with you. _

_ ~Katara _

It was only a few seconds before he regained his ability to do  _ anything _ , and with a contorted expression of fear, anger, and determination, he stormed from the balcony. Throwing open his chamber doors, he pulled out his hair piece, discarding it to the floor, and slid off his robes, tossing them to the nearest servant, until he was free of his confinements. He couldn’t possibly defend himself in those long robes, but with his casual wear always underneath, he felt just the slightest bit more free.

“Suki!” He bellowed as he began to sprint down the long corridor, quickly rounding corners and charging into the throne room. Suki frantically looked up from her knives that she and Mai were sharpening, worry spread across her face.

“Zuko! Is it another attack?!” She jumped up, her fan already open and ready to be used.

“I’m leaving. I must get to Sokka.” Suki dropped her fan as she crossed her arms. Mai stood up behind her, shaking her head in disagreement. Zuko and her may have broken up years ago, but she still cared for him. There was no way she was letting him get out of her sight.

“You know you can’t leave. I won’t allow you to risk your safety like-”

“No! You don’t understand! He’s dy- Sokka’s hurt and I have to get to him now! I’m going, with or without you.” Suki’s face fell with a gasp.

“What happened?” She asked frantically, whistling for some of the other Kyoshi Warriors to assist the Fire Lord. 

“I’ll explain on the way.” Zuko responded, holding up the clenched letter. He looked at her. “Are you coming?” Suki bit her lip and took one step forward.

“We never leave a Kyoshi Warrior behind.”

…

_ The sunset created an orange glow to the pond in a way that Sokka always loved. The gentle ripples in the water became a rhythmic pattern as the turtleducks sawm circles around the edges of the pond, their little quack's forming a symphony with with crickets. Sokka let his hand skim the water’s edge, disrupting the rippling effect as well as the turtleducks motion as they turned away from their path and swam over to greet him. The babies nibbled on his fingertips, while the mother pushed herself up onto the shore and nuzzled Sokka’s other hand. _

_ “Sorry, no leftovers tonight. I worked up an appetite. But I always have free pets for you cuties.” He chuckled to himself, stroking the smooth feather of the turtleducks, enjoying the orange ombre of the sky and serene evening temperatures. _

_ “I will never understand how they like you so much with such ease. They normally take ages to trust someone.” Zuko said from behind. He was in his robes, but his hair had left his top knot, signifying a long and tiring day that had just ended. He sat down in the grass next to Sokka, and leaned forward to pick up one of the turtleduck babies. _

_ “What can I say, I’m charming.” Zuko rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I don’t hear you disagreeing with me.” Sokka said with a smirk. _

_ “You’re an asshole.” Zuko sighed. “But a charming asshole nonetheless.” Sokka took that as a win and leaned against him, letting his head rest on Zuko’s shoulder. _

_ “Did Katara tell you the news?” _

_ “About the proposal? Yes. I’m very happy for Aang and her.” Sokka sighed contently. _

_ “Yeah, me too.” Aang and Katara had such a future ahead of them. It was exciting and at the same time, Sokka wondered what his future would look like. He glanced up at Zuko who was whispering to the baby turtleduck in his hands, smiling softly at the little creature. Sokka’s eyes widened. _

_ It was at that moment, he realized he wanted Zuko to be his future. Sokka immediately started to picture betrothal pendant carvings in his head, imagining different designs until he could make the one that would be perfect for Zuko. _

_ Sokka looked out at the setting sun, giving one last reminder of the light to come the next day, but with that, told the stories of the moon that would watch over them as the darkness took over for the night. Sokka tried to bottle as much of that light as he could as the sun slipped below the hills of the fire nation, using it to guide him.  _

_ Sokka closed his eyes. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: Those italicized parts with no letter heading are Sokka’s coma dreams of sorts. They’re flashbacks that Sokka is having. 
> 
> That’s right, because technically, Sokka’s an honorary Kyoshi Warrior and nothing can change my mind on that! Hope you enjoyed it! I’m already working on the next chapter and I have to tell you, it’s emotional.
> 
> There is a happy ending tho. You will all see. Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	4. The Sun and Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang finally comes together, but Sokka gets worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!!! 
> 
> So sorry this took so long to post, I went on vacation and I thought I would have internet, but I thought wrong. So here is chapter 4! Oh and also, This chapter was getting upwards of 7,000 words that’s a lot of heavy stuff to read in one chapter, so I added an extra chapter! I am so excited for this chapter- but also it’s a break from the letters, until the next chapter at least…
> 
> ALSO NOTE: I know nothing about medicine or wounds or anything like that, so seriously, don’t use this for facts or anything. This is all just for fun!  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 4 - The Sun and Moon**

Katara didn’t remember the three hours in between the frantic letter from Toph and the point of arrival at Sokka’s medical tent. She simply remembered a numbness that pulled her brain into a frozen state in the margin of her thoughts. Aang tried to talk to her, tried to make little jokes to pull her from her trance, or rub circles into her back, but she was paralyzed.

It was only when Appa bellowed at the specs of people moving through a mountain pass below, did Katara snap into action. Emerging from the caves were a small army of men and supplies, hobbling down the canyon opening towards Omashu, sitting high in the distance. Aang tugged on Appa’a reins guiding the bison downward in one swift glide, but Katara had already pulled the water from her pouch and pushed over the side of the saddle creating a slide of water, sticking to her feet as she slid down.

“Katara wait!” Aang called out, but she was already at the bottom and out of earshot. Aang urged Appa forward, his eyes shifting across the division. So many injured, so many exhausted men barely carrying their own weight. Aang growled at himself. If only he could have been there faster. He caught a sign of Katara’s deep blue dress in the crowd of fire nation men as she surged towards the large creature in the front, leading them with its head hanging low in remorse. Foo Foo. His saddle sat empty where a general should have been, and the creature's normally rambunctious personality was stunted by sorrow. On his left side, a firm hand wrapped around his loose reins, using him for guidance and support, was Toph. She didn’t need him to lead herself down the mountain, but Foo Foo was as close to Sokka as one could get out here. 

Aang gulped, it was as if they were already grieving his death.

“Toph! Toph!” Katara cried out, sprinting over to Toph in the front. Katara jumped into Toph’s arms for a quick, but strong hug. She stumbled back into Foo Foo who snorted, waiting for his own greeting from Katara. Katara let go of Toph and with that, released the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. 

“Katara! That was record time. Is twinkle toes with you?” Katara nodded meekly, her hands suddenly beginning to shake, the water she had used forming crystals of ice. Guiding the water around her wrist and gripping the smooth current between her fingers, she pulled it back into her pouch. 

“He’s landing Appa.” Katara flinched as Foo Foo’s massive snout nuzzled her side, throwing her off balance. He huffed sadly, bringing tears to Katara’s eyes. 

“Oh Foo Foo… I know buddy.” She rubbed his nose -his favorite spot- pushing away flies and dusting off the specs of old war paint that decorated his sleek fur. It was the water tribe colors with hints of gold and red. She almost rolled her eyes, knowing how much Sokka loved a good war paint. Foo Foo shook his head, his massive fangs swinging to the side, making Katara and Toph duck. Katara regained her composure, worry plastered to her face.

“Can I see him?” Katara spoke fast, her words breath faltering as she scanned the crowd of men for the medical tent. Toph bit her lip.

“Yeah… but-”

“Save it Toph.” Katara spotted the red tent cover, three ostrich horses pulling it from the front, gold armor glistening in the afternoon sun. Then, she ran. She shoved through men who didn’t glare at her as they understood the urgency and worry that destroyed her from the inside out. She reached the tent quickly, heaving herself up onto the wagon and pushing through the cloth opening. There was a medic tending to a body laying on a cot, but the body wasn’t Sokka’s.  Or maybe it was, either way, it didn’t look like him. The wolf tail was gone, just soft strands of deep brown hair framing a face. The face itself was pale and empty, void of any expression, eyes closed and lips thin and dry. It was indeed Sokka by the tattoos that ran up his exposed arm, designs that held insignias of the Water Tribe symbols. 

But his body was cold, his skin ghostly in color compared to Katara’s and horrible still. Katara gulped and entered, gripping a wood beam to steady herself. She told herself it was from the rocky terrain that the wagon moved over, but really, she felt dizzy.

“Master Katara!” The medic gasped out, wiping his hands on a towel, but dried blood still clung to his skin. “General Sokka was injured and-”

“What’s the status?” The man gulped and let out a stiff nod.

“Not good… I was able to close the wound in most places, but stitches have to be changed regularly and even with all that I’m doing, infection is still beginning to set in. And even if I could heal the wound, he’s lost so much blood, I don’t know if he’ll… wake… up.” Katara’s face twisted into an unreadable expression as she stepped closer.

“I’ll… leave you to do your work.” He bowed to her and left the tent, presumably jumping off the wagon to go help injured soldiers elsewhere. Katara took a seat in the chair the medic had abandoned and couldn’t help but just stare. Sokka didn’t look like Sokka at all. His shirt was gone, revealing a labored and small breath with each subtle rise and fall of his chest, his exhaling breath raspy through his nose.

There was a line of thick stitches across his front, freshly done, but already, she could see the threading struggling to keep the wound shut. Katara leaned in to examine the wound closer, and noticed something strange about it. Curious, although not without the leap of vomit in her throat, she listed his arm and slowly turned his body, gasping at another thick line of stitches on the other side. The sword had gone clean through him.

By the size of it, it was clearly a katana, but luckily it's placement had just missed his vital organs. However, by the time the wound could properly be cared for, Sokka had almost bled out. She gulped, realizing the situation at hand. With time, Katara knew she could aid the stitches in healing the wound… but without blood to replace what he had lost, there was no getting better for Sokka. 

She wiped her eyes and pulled off the outer layer of her thick dress, leaving her training tunic on underneath. She pulled the water from her pouch, polling out any chunks of dirt or specs of dust, purifying the water until it sparkled, and began to clean. She stared with the dry blood surrounding the wound, carefully weaving the droplets of water around the stitches so as not to loosen them, but cleaned out any infection. She worked in silence, letting the flow of water against her fingertips be as meditative as she could manage, trying to focus away from the fact that it was her brother before her that she was trying to save.

The pressure of it all could have destroyed her, if it wasn’t for her adamant determination and the memory of his bright smile in the front of her mind. A sudden familiar chirp, distracted Katara from her focus, and while normally it would have caused her to groan, the slightest bit of hope filled her as Momo swooped into the tent, a letter attached. Katara let Momo drop the paper in her hands, knowing it could have only come from one person.

_ I’m on my way. _

_ I’ll be there in a couple of hours, but Momo is much faster than the airship so I wanted to let you know. Suki is with me. _

_ Do what you do best Katara, and heal. _

Katara’s hands shook as she reread it two then three times more, wishing that Zuko had written more. It hadn’t been signed or addressed, and the handwriting had been hasty and uncareful. That wasn’t very characteristic of Zuko, but she didn’t expect anything of him. The love of his life was dying. She understood what that was like. Only now, she didn’t have spirit water to save him. She sighed and tucked the letter into her pocket and got back to work on Sokka’s wounds.

But a slight blast of air distracted her again as Aang came in, his glider snapping back into his staff.

“Katara! How is-”

“Well I can’t tell if I keep getting interrupted!” She snapped, the water droplets on her fingertips freezing. Her expression fell along with her gaze, following the cracks in the floor. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled, her face flushing. Aang shook his head and stepped forward kissing the top of her head.

“I know. It’s okay.” Aang scanned Sokka’s lifeless body. “He- He doesn’t look like himself.” Katara nodded.

“What if… What if I can’t heal him?” Her voice broke, forcing her to bite her lip in retaliation to her worked up emotions. She had to stay focused.

“You can. I know you can. Sokka has escaped death countless times, this isn’t an exception.” Aang’s words didn’t match the apprehensive expression he held as his eyes scanned Sokka’s body. 

“How can you be so sure?” She leaned her head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“I don’t know. I guess I learned a thing or two about hope, from you.” Katara closed her eyes,  _ trying  _ to breathe, but a natural rhythmic pattern wasn't working for her lungs as her throat swelled shut. She swallowed thickly and pulled the water over Sokka back to her, guiding it and it’s glowing energy over his body back and forth as she did what healing she could. 

But she could feel each cell on the layer of the wound, the agonizing pain, the broken and torn tissue, all the muscle and blood gone from where it should have been. It made her absolutely sick, but she didn’t stop. Aang stayed behind her for a while, simply trying to be a comforting presence as he constantly glanced between Katara’s contorted expression and Sokka's lifeless body. 

After a while however, he could sense her exhaustion and with a gentle sweep of his fingers, pulled the water away from her, letting it flow effortlessly back into the pouch. She looked up at him, ripping her eyes from the wound for the first time in nearly two hours.

“What are you doing?”

“Katara, you’ve been at this for a while. You can’t help heal him, if you aren’t at full strength. You need to rest a little while.” Katara opened her mouth to retort, but her body had betrayed her by letting a yawn escape and with that, there wasn’t going to be an argument.

“I’m not leaving him… but I will rest.” She sighed in defeat. Aang flashed her a sympathetic twitch of his lips and nodded, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.

“I’m going to go talk to Toph and check up on the others. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Katara held a glassy stare and didn’t respond as Aang sighed and left the wagon.

Several minutes of being alone, and the silence was beginning to get to her. Even the gentle hum of the water as she was healing, was better than nothing. She shifted her position and moved closer to Sokka’s bed. Katara inhaled, holding back tears as she gripped his hand. 

“Do you remember the lullaby mom used to sing us when we had a bad dream? Do you remember you singing it to me after she died? You were always there for me.” Katara squeezed his hand, desperately hoping for a return in the pressure, but he remained still. “But now you have to pull through so you can be there for me again. You have to pull through so you can sing that lullaby to me again, and you gotta wake up so you can sing that lullaby to your niece or nephew one day down the road.” Tears began to pour down her face. Her mind drifted off briefly to the thought of her own future. Aang. Aang who would be her husband, and one day maybe, the father to her children. It was something they had talked about before, and she simply dreamed of a child of her own to hold in her arms one day. But she suddenly felt guilty as she looked at Sokka and his tattoos. On his right arm, tangled with the ink that made a Watertribe symbol, was an abstract symbol of the fire nation. She looked at Sokka, the same hope for a future, but it suddenly seemed to shatter into nothing. Would he have his future? Would he be able to propose and marry the love of his life? Would he get to hold his own child in his arms one day? 

“You have so much to do still. You have to let me go when you see me walk down the aisle, and you have to propose to Zuko still. I know you’ve been working on that pendant for five months, so you have to finish it and give it to him, so that I can let you go as you walk down the aisle.” She exhaled shakily as she stared at his frozen expression, soft and empty in his comatose state. She covered her mouth, choking down a sob and shook her head, trying to get rid of the tears. She closed her eyes for a moment, in the deep silence that plagued her and decided she much rather hear herself talk. 

_ “ _ _ Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby _

_ Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay _

_ And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow _

_ Bless you with love for the road that you go”  _

Katara began to sing the lullaby, hoping that somewhere, it could provide Sokka the same comfort it once provided her.

_ “May you sail far to the far fields of fortune _

_ With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet _

_ And may you need never to banish misfortune _

_ May you find kindness in all that you meet” _

Her voice broke over the last lyric, and as she glanced around and noticed all the water in the room had risen from the containers and floated around them in tiny silver droplets, glistening like diamonds or perhaps golden tears. She guided the water back down, and returned her gaze to her brother. She studied his features for a moment more and opened her mouth to continue speaking.

But she was interrupted. She looked up, hastily wiping her tears, but realized she didn’t have to hide them as Zuko came into view.

“Oh-” Her expression dropped as she saw him, clearing her throat and standing. He looked… heartbroken. Absolutely torn into pieces, from lack of food and sleep, and anxiety tearing away at his being. His expression was crestfallen, but it was more than that, it was… complete and utter heartbreak. Zuko glanced up at her first, meeting eyes similarly blue to Sokka’s, that danced with life, and trailed his gaze down to Sokka. His eyes were closed and lifeless. His whole body was more of a transparency of what once was, an apparition of hopes and dreams being drowned before him. He so desperately wanted to hope, but he was never good at such things. “I’ll uh… I’ll let you two have your privacy.” Katara whispered awkwardly, not knowing how to handle the situation. Really, who could blame her? How was anyone supposed to handle a situation like this.

“No!... Uh, I mean, you don’t have to. You can stay… please.” Katara nodded and sat back down, and watched Zuko come around to the other side of the bed and sit in the chair opposite of her. “Any update?” Katara bit her lip and shook her head. Zuko seemed afraid to look at Sokka, afraid to reach out and touch him as if he himself were responsible for Sokka’s dying state. He certainly blamed himself.

“I’ve just been sitting with him. Scolding him for not being careful, but mostly I just keep thinking about how we got to this moment. He was always the one there for me- now… I don’t know.” Zuko leaned forward, nodding his head to keep her talking. 

“I um… I’m sorry for accidentally hearing you, but can I ask- what were you singing?” Katara sent him a slight smile and sighed deeply.

“It’s a lullaby. My mother used to sing it to me. After she died, every night, Sokka would crawl into bed with me, like he knew I just couldn’t fall asleep. And he'd wrap us in polar bear-dog furs and sing that lullaby. He'd sing it over and over until I fell asleep. He did that for a year until he got scared thinking someone would catch him singing and that they would deem him not “man enough” to fight in the war. I never thanked him for doing that for me. I know that I became our mom’s “replacement” so to speak for him, but he was the only person who could ease the nightmares and soothe the fevers.” Katara held back another sob, trying her best to remain stoic, but Zuko reached over Sokka’s lap and found her hand.

“How did it go?” Katara scoffed and shook her head.

“I can’t sing it now. I have an audience.” The tips of Zuko’s lips lifted. “The first two lines went, “ Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby, Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay”.”  _ Loo-li lai-lay. _ Zuko’s head snapped upward.

“I- I’ve heard that song before…” Katara squinted at him with a confused head tilt.

“How? It’s a traditional Southern Water Tribe lullaby, it certainly didn’t go through any Fire Nation culture.” Zuko scooted forward, his eyes falling on Sokka’s thin lips normally stretched upward in a smile, now lacking any expression at all.

“No, I… Remember when Azula struck me with lightning? The next few days of recovery I was sort of in and out of sleep, but I just remember that song. If you didn’t sing it to me… then...” Katara smiled softly. There was only one other person who knew the song. They both looked at Sokka’s closed eyes. He had been the one to stay by Zuko’s side the entire time, pacing the floor in front of the bed, even with a broken leg.

“He always loved you. Even before he knew it.” Zuko nodded and stood just enough to lean forward and kiss Sokka’s forehead, touching him for the first time in four months. There was a long and steady silence, filled with only their heavy breaths, and the light beat of Sokka’s heart.

“If-  _ When  _ he wakes up. I’m going to propose to him on the spot. I’m never letting him go again.” At this, Katara had to stifle a laugh because Sokka had been planning on a grand proposal for months now. Her thoughts drifted to the little pendant that she had last seen Sokka working on, and where it might be. The pendant would be part of the betrothal necklace he hoped to give to Zuko one day, but now she wondered where it was. If Sokka never woke up, it would be lost forever.

_ Don’t think like that Katara!  _ She scolded herself bitterly. With an exhausted sigh, she stood.

“I can’t wait to walk him down the aisle then.” She said with a grin, trying her best to conceal the sadness behind it.

“You think he’ll say yes?” 

“I think that once you ask, you are never going to be able to get rid of him ever again.” Zuko smiled at her as she leaned across the bed and kissed the top of his head. With that, she left the room and her shadow faded from view. 

Zuko loved Katara, even if she did scare the shit out of him, but he was so thankful to have her in that moment, because if Sokka… If Sokka left him, then Katara would be the only piece of him left.

“Sokka, you dumbass.” Zuko huffed out. He was silent for a second, holding back everything. Holding back the rage that caused his fingertips to spark and his face to heat up as literal flames made their way up his throat. He held back the guilt of not stopping Sokka from going. He held back the blame for the rebellion in the first place, if only he had been  _ better _ , nobody would have been angry with him. The most overwhelming emotion that he held back was the heartbreak, the agony of seeing Sokka like this before him, broken and lifeless, full of uncertainty, and… the uncertain future Zuko would be forced to live, no matter the outcome. 

“Agni Sokka-” Zuko’s voice broke as he dragged over his exhausted face. He had so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to scream and burn, things he wanted to whisper and cry over, but he felt frozen. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and pull the covers over his head and bury his head into Sokka’s chest, taking in his scent and hearing his little sleepy mumbles as he ran his fingers through Zuko’s hair. Zuko almost drifted off over the thought, the  _ memory _ , but he knew that he couldn’t.

Slowly, he reached out and touched Sokka’s cold hand. His whole body was cold. Zuko scowled, to think about him freezing, shirtless and exposed to the cool breezes that passed through the semipermeable tent cover. Glancing around the room, he found a folded blanket and covered Sokka, just like he would do when he was sick. Admittedly, Zuko was incredibly overprotective when Sokka was sick or injured, to the point where he would lock Zuko out of their bedroom to keep him from pestering him, but Sokka couldn’t complain now. 

Zuko turned around to scan the room, and caught sight of Sokka’s clothes and armor sitting neatly on another chair. For some reason he gravitated towards the pile of furs, his curiosity and desperate attempts to be as close as possible controlled him. He unfolded the shirt, the same sparring tunic Sokka would wear when training with Zuko. Underneath were arm guards, a pair of pants, extra layers of fur that unfolded into his cape with silver buckles with the world insignia carved into the clasp. Underneath was his chest piece, a thick wool piece of armor, with blue plating and silver lining. Zuko picked it up, feeling the fur move between his fingers, and shook it out once, shaking out the specs of dried mud and twigs out. But a soft clink against the ground made Zuko pause. He bent over, and picked up the object, flat like a coin and not much larger. It was a beautiful silver pendant. He twisted it between his index finger and thumb, studying the symbol on the front. It was a carved fire symbol, but a small wolf sat in the center of the flame head staring upward. Zuko flipped over the pendant and the other side was a rising sun and what appeared like the start of a moon, but it wasn’t finished. Zuko’s breath hitched in his throat when he realized what it was.

_ A betrothal necklace. _

…

“Katara?” Aang whispered, the night air throwing his words into a mumble only Katara could hear. She was slumped back on Appa’s saddle, Sokka’s fur blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she kept her eyes closed. She wasn’t asleep though, Aang knew that much. She was just shutting out the world. He crossed Appa’s saddle, the bison grunting as it turned and continued it’s way to Omashu, only being about twenty minutes from its walls.

“Katara, please talk to me.” Katara barely opened one eye, and sighed as Aang’s gentle depression peered at her, those big soulful eyes making her heart melt. She shifted to the side and opened up the blanket, letting Aang slide next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder, curling into his warmth.

“I spent over four hours with him today, trying to heal him… and nothing. I-” A tear slid down her cheek, but Aang wiped it away quickly.

“We just have to hold onto hope.” They were quiet, Katara trying to take Aang's advice but finding herself failing at what should have been a simple task.

“I’m so selfish.” she said suddenly, causing Aang to tilt his head in confusion. “I keep thinking about… what if Sokka doesn’t make it? And I keep thinking how he won’t be able to see me married. He won’t be able to dance with me, and I’m so… fucking selfish for it.” Aang’s eyes widened at her swearing, a rarity for her. He furrowed his eyebrows as she continued.

“And yet, if he doesn’t make it, what about Zuko? Zuko and him- Sokka has been planning his proposal for months, and now? Spirits, I cannot imagine what he’s going through.” 

“Katara, you are  _ not  _ selfish. And Sokka will be there on our wedding day. I know hope seems hard to have right now, but whether he is there in person... or in spirit, he will be there. And as for Zuko and him…” Aang trailed off, not sure what to say on the matter. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to picture Katara on her deathbed without marrying her. It wouldn’t have mattered if he married her or not, they loved each other, Katara knew he loved her with every fiber of his being.

“Zuko and Sokka love each other. They both know that. In the end, that is what’s important.” Aang knew his answer wasn’t very sufficient but it was all he had. Katara tucked herself closer, finding his hand and interlacing their fingers.

Appa bellowed as he soared downward towards the airship landings of Omashu as the rest of the division moved sluggishly through the gates. The medical wagons, carrying the injured and Sokka, hastily made their way towards the hospital, and following were the Firelord and Kyoshi Warriors.

Katara slid off of Appa and hurried to meet up with Toph and Zuko, filing into the building. Katara could only catch a glance as two men carried Sokka off the tent, his body limp, as they rushed him into a room, closing the door on their faces, for proper examination. Katara growled at the idea of leaving her brother’s side as some stranger poked and prodded his wounds, but she was unbelievably emotionally exhausted, that she could do nothing but collapse on the floor next to the door and wait by the wall. Zuko slid down next to her without a word and watched the quick reunion between Suki and Ty Lee, the two warriors holding each other in a strong hug for the first time in months. 

“I’m in charge while Sokka’s out of commission. I want to stay, but when he wakes, I’m going to get an earful from him because I was by his side and not watching over his men.” Toph grumbled. “I’m gonna go check up with the division and follow Sokka’s stupid self righteous orders.” Katara nodded and refocused on her hand in her lap, staring into space. Zuko was still silent beside her, but he had pinned his hair up, a blue ribbon tying his top knot up, although his fire nation emblem was gone. She scanned him, taking notice of the dark bags under his eyes, a result of weeks without a good night sleep. His bangs fell in loose strands around his eyes, and his shoulders sank, no longer holding the strong posture of the Firelord.

He looked almost as if he was frozen in time.

He was not in fact, frozen in time for a million thoughts ran through his mind. He couldn’t pick through them and sort them between rational thinking and irrational remarks that got swept up with his anxiety and emotions as his brain raced and jumped to every random collusion, shoved old memories in his face, and questioned him with the incertitude future. He gripped the pendant between his fingers, hiding it from view. Sokka was going to propose.  _ Sokka was going to propose. _ Of course Zuko would have said yes, he even had thought about proposing himself. But there were always thoughts that betrayed him and caused him to shrink back with the fears that stopped him in his tracks. Sokka and him weren’t exactly a secret, they had been public about their relationship before and that was that. But like the past Firelords, many believed it to be one of many who Zuko slept with and courted, but of course that's a bold faced lie. Zuko winced at even the thought of loving another person other than Sokka. And of course there were those who were against them, some believing the tradition of a heir and others downright homophobic. He didn’t want to endanger Sokka anymore than he already had with the assassination attempts, or burden him with the cruel remarks some councilmen had given Zuko and in the past.

And marriage? That was the statement of a lifetime. Zuko would have married him on the spot if he could, a small ceremony with just a few friends. That’s all he needed. But Sokka was supposed to propose to him! Zuko wasn’t supposed to find the pendant in his shirt armor with Sokka dying on the other side of the room from a war that Zuko blamed himself for.

His expression must’ve matched the burden of his thoughts as he became aware of Katara’s eyes on him. She was watching him, concern flaring in those ocean eyes that looked so much like Sokka’s. He refused to meet her gaze. So instead he ignored her, and pulled out the sheets of paper and his pen, from the duffel zuko had hastily packed before he left. There was nothing in it, but a few scattered documents, Sokka’s favorite book, a few spare pairs of clothes, and his pad of paper and pen.

He had to sort out these thoughts somehow, or he was going to go mad. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, placing the tip of his pen against the paper being propped up on his knee and began to write.

_ Dear Sokka, _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The song is called “Sleep Song” by the Secret Garden and it's really pretty. I just wanted to include it. Anyway, until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	5. A Mix of Blood and Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara risks her life to save Sokka's on a theory that only might work. Zuko writes a letter to Sokka. Oh and some flashbacks are in store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have more notes at the bottom that are for after you read, but my only note for up here is that I am NOT a medical expert. I know nothing about blood transfusions, I only know about blood types and the genetic variability. I also know that blood types were not discovered until technically way after ATLA’s time, so this was all in fun. 
> 
> If anyone is currently reading To Capture the Tide (my other Zukka story, go check it out) another chapter will be up in two days! Sorry for the wait on that, I had no internet and couldn't write for it.

**Chapter Five- A Mix of Blood and Ink**

_ “Katara?” Sokka’s head peaked through the crack in the door, his eyes crinkled and focused like he was on a mission. Katara lifted her head from her book, the candle she had used as a night light, flickering.  _

_ “Sokka? Is everything alright?” She snapped the book shut and pulled her legs up from under the blankets stretched across her bed. Sokka didn’t respond as he padded across the floor and sat on the other side of the bed, pulling himself into a criss-crossed position. He held a slightly apprehensive expression, but his lips twitched with excitement. He fidgeted with the hem of his pajama shirt as he rocked back and forth, opening and closing his mouth to speak, but grumbling as he wasn’t quite sure how to put his thoughts into words. _

_ “Spit it out Sokka, what’s wrong?” And so Sokka did spit it out. He practically shouted it from the rooftops, a childish grin growing on his face enough to rival the nerves rattling through his fingertips. _

_ “I’m going to propose to Zuko!” He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth, knowing that the rest of the household was just in the other room. This wasn’t the palace, where rooms were separated by long corridors; their tiny house in the south pole had thin walls. Katara’s eyes immediately widened, tossing the book and fur blankets to the side. _

_ “Wait. Really?!” She gasped and reached out to shake her brother’s shoulder with excitement, giggling as she did so. Sokka appeared to be bursting at the seams as he nodded giddily, bouncing on the bed. Katara let go of him, and touched the betrothal necklace around her neck. It wasn’t her mother’s anymore, no, that pendent was now tucked safely away, for she had a new necklace to replace it.  _

_ “This has nothing to do with engagement fever, does it? Since Aang proposed a week ago.” She raised her eyebrows. _

_ “No! You and Aang can keep your oogies, I’ve been wanting to do this for like two months now! Besides, is there such a thing as “engagement fever”?” Katara shrugged, her smile lengthening as her brother began to ramble about Zuko and him, the way he gushed over the Fire Lord enough to rival Katara and Aang’s “oogies.” _

_ “So, what’s your plan?” Sokka stopped dead, making Katara scoff. “What? Man with a plan suddenly doesn’t have one?” He shot her a playful glare. _

_ “No! I’ve got… something. Look, I don’t exactly have someone I could go to for a blessing to marry Zuko, like Aang had Dad. I want to keep things traditional, but do I do Water Tribe or Fire Nation traditions, and how do I mix them together? I know nothing about Fire nation proposals! And the fact that Zuko’s literally the fucking Firelord really complicates things! I mean, he’s royalty, things are done a certain way.” Katara folded her arms. _

_ “Excuses.” Sokka was taken aback. _

_ “Excuse me?” _

_ “You heard me. Figure it out, man with a plan. You feel he’s worth it, right?” Sokka vigorously nodded his head. “Then it won’t matter in the end. You can still make him a betrothal necklace, he understands that tradition. And as for a blessing, you could always make the trip to Ba Sing Se to see Uncle Iroh. You could even go to Ozai and rub it in his stupid face that you’re marrying the Fire Lord. Wouldn’t that be something?” Sokka barked out a laugh and nodded at his sister. _

_ “Thanks Katara. I had to tell someone or else I was going to burst. And I can’t exactly tell Zuko.” Katara giggled and pulled her brother in for a quick hug. _

_ “Anytime Sokka. I love how you’re not even the slightest bit worried that he’ll say no, not that you should be in any way.” Katara laughed out as a joke, knowing Aang had nearly ripped himself into pieces over the idea of her saying no. It was a ridiculous notion, but it happened to the best of them. But Sokka smiled still, his nerves disintegrating.  _

_ “How can you deny this hot piece of ass?!” He grinned and bounced out of the room, leaving Katara to stick her tongue out in disgust, but also left her with happiness stirring in her stomach as she watched the light in Sokka’s eyes burn brighter than the sun. _

…

_ Dear Sokka, _

_ Only you know what a sucker I am for a good metaphor. Just as I know your secret love for poetry, even if you deny it. I know your favorite book is just filled with poetry, and when you’re not home, sometimes I’ll read it. I’ve never understood your fascination with poems, but I do love a good metaphor intertwined in a story. _

_ Maybe that’s why I’m writing you a letter, even though you’re just in the other room. I don’t know if you can hear my words when I talk to you. I hope that just maybe you can, and that’ll convince you to pull through this mess, but I just don’t know. We’ve been apart for long periods of time before, and we’ve worked around the distance through letters.  _

_ But now I’m here, able to hold your hand, and you’ve never felt so far away. _

_ So now I’m writing this letter to you, a letter you’ll never read even if you pull through, but my thoughts need to go somewhere. And I keep rolling back to all the moments that made us. _

_ I’ve loved you since before either one of us knew it. Sure, maybe I always paid more attention to your eyes than I did to anyone else in the group, back in my first days as part of the Avatar’s mission. And sure, maybe I had this urge to protect you, more than anyone else, but it was always because we just got along. You were so bouncy, full of smiles and sarcastic comments, full of this rampant determination, and I was… well I was not so confident, not so full of smiles, and definitely unable to produce a single joke. You made up for it though, and maybe that’s why we got along. We both had the instinct to protect, both held pain in the forefront of our minds just enough to give us the strength we needed to fight. _

_ But I also learned that you were so empathetic. You never left a man behind, and everywhere you went, you just gravitated to those who needed you. And you never turned your back on them. Sure there were times, where there were more pressing matters, but you always stayed to help. _

_ I only wish I could be even half the man that you are. _

_ I’ve loved you since the end of the war and you first came to my palace, and the gloomy halls just lit up with your smile. You took one look at the old traditional decor and ordered every servant to toss away the curtains, strip the walls of dark paintings, and repaint the red into something brighter. Within a week, the palace was full of sunlight, artwork from all over the world, including one you had drawn of the royal gardens. It was messy and a little hard to recognize at first, but you had worked so hard. And everytime since then, when you returned to the palace you had a new and improved art piece, each one improving until they were good enough to rival the world renowned artists. _

_ Again with that stupid, loveable determination. _

_ I’ve loved you since you kissed me, half drunk in the courtyard by the turtle duck pond. I was too shocked to kiss back, and I had never seen you run so fast in your entire life. But I caught you, because you were never faster than me, and we both lost our balance and tumbled into the grass. And I kissed you. _

_ From there on, it was just us against the world. _

_ And I loved every second of it. _

_ Even when we fought. Even that one night, you got so angry with me over my refusal for help, that you snatched the blanket from the bed and slept in a guest quarters. We went to bed fuming that night, but when I woke from a nightmare, you heard me scream and crawled back into bed with me, and that was the end of it. Like your stupid obsession with your boomerang, you always came back. But I love that about you. _

_ I love your ability to make even the most stoic of councilmen laugh. I love your witty remarks that make angry generals flush bright red. I love your grumpy scowls during long meetings, and your devilish grins when you charge at me during training sessions. I love the way you talk in your sleep, and dig you freezing cold feet under my legs, and complain about your messy morning hair.  _

_ I love how you talk about the stars like you know each one personally, and I even love how much you annoy me with your constant rambling. Come to think of it, you annoy me with your pestering to get some rest, and you annoy me with your wild shopping sprees, and your rampaging through the kitchens, consuming every single fire flake in the entire palace. But Agni, I love every single annoying thing about you. _

_ And the spirits know how much I miss it. _

_ I miss your arguments with Katara, your childish games with Aang that lead to nothing but trouble. I miss you and Toph pranking me around the palace, even if I countlessly threaten to burn your hair off. I miss how you and Suki joke and dance around the throne room. I miss how you’d just take every little opportunity to kiss me. Just a quick kiss on the head or cheek before we went running off to some meeting. It was just us against the world in those moments. _

_ In retrospect, it was a funny parallel to our meeting and becoming, us against the world. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. _

  
  


**...**

  
  


“He’s going to die.” The words sounded fuzzy as they came out of the healers mouth. “He just doesn’t have enough blood.” There was a still silence around the room, nobody dared to even breathe. Nobody  _ could  _ breathe, they were all just paralyzed to the core. Sokka laid in the next room, his breath dwindling into nothing too. Suki was the first to move, her chin held high and fists clenched. She was always the strongest out of all of them, at least that’s what Zuko always thought.

He could tell by her brief facial expression that she wanted to break something, get all the rage out of losing her best friend at such a young age. But she didn’t, she just stood tall, like a warrior. Zuko could also see the flash of questioning, of whether or not more can be done, his own mind was driving him insane with that question, building the weight of guilt in his chest.

“Then we protect him until the end. I don’t leave a Kyoshi Warrior behind.” The healer bowed to her, and Ty Lee came up from behind, a supportive hand on her shoulder. Suki turned her head back at Zuko, clearly more worried about him, then herself, but Zuko shook his head, telling her to go on, and with that, she went into Sokka’s room.

Zuko was still silent, but his face wrinkled in anguish and his brain promptly stopped functioning as the same thought began to roll through his mind.  _ He’s going to die _ . Zuko squeezed the pendant in his hand, trying to feel something,  _ anything _ . The stillness of the room was intoxicating, everyone could feel it, but it was Toph who spoke up.

“Are you serious!? That’s it? You’re just going to throw your tail under your legs and give up?! Do you even know who he is?! Do you know who I am? If you don’t figure out a way to save him, then I'm going to kick your ass all the way to Ba Sing Se!” Toph roared, the whole building shaking from her wrath. Everyone in the room was staring at her with wide eyes, and the healer was visibly shaking as she threw her hands in the air. Toph may have been on the smaller side, but she could obliterate anyone in her path. Toph looked like she was about to explode. And much like himself, Zuko could recognize the twisted expression of someone who blamed themselves. 

Then, Katara stepped forward.

“Wait… what if I give my blood?” The silence in the room suddenly erupted. 

“Katara no! You could die!” Aang shouted, pulling her back.

“And that wouldn’t work. Blood is strange, it very rarely likes to mix with another’s person’s blood.” The healer spoke, fear lacing his tone as he glanced nervously back forth between Toph and Katara. 

“But I'm his sister! We share the same blood, it could work!” Aang bit his lip and jumped in front of her, shaking his head, but she pushed him to the side.

“Blood is chance, just like gaining bending from a parent is chance. There has only ever been two successful occurrences of blood transfusions between people and one of them was with twins. And we don’t have the proper medical equipment to support-”

“I’ll bloodbend!”

“Katara no-”

“I have to do something! If I don’t, he dies! If I try it and he dies, then at least I did something! He once told me he’d never turn his back on me, and I’m not about to turn my back on him… Let me bloodbend my own blood into him, just enough so we can both recover.” The healer’s eyes widened at the determination on her face, but seemed unsure of himself. He looked up at Zuko finally, his expression in desperate search of answers.

“Lord Zuko? What do you think?” Zuko raised his gaze from the floor for the first time that night.

…

_ “Katara!” Sokka whined as he shook the droplets of water from his hair. His hair band had long since broken from the intensity of the fight and now strands stuck to the frame of his face mixing with sweat and water and, on his chin, a little bit of blood. He slid back in the grass, his sword slippery in his hands as he wiped the blood from his lip. He brought his gaze back up, his glare transcending across the field to where Katara stood, water swirling around her.  _

_ His glare didn’t soften, but his lips curled at the corners, a devilish grin appearing as he sprang back into action. Katara whipped the water in his direction, but he easily ducked under it, his sword bending back. The second wave of freezing water came at him, shards of ice growing from the outside, ready to pierce his skin, but he swung the sword at just the right angle, shattering the ice into dew drops in the grass and lunged. Katara reeled back her hand, ice crystals forming around her fist -a move she picked up from the Dai Li) and swung. Despite the ice, Sokka sprang forward and caught her swinging fist, his face inches from her. This caught her off guard, and as she pulled back to bring water down on him from above, but he rolled out of the way, tugging her wrist with him, resulting in the quick tidal wave drenching her. She huffed out bitterly, flicking water from her fingertips, but Sokka already had the sword pointed at her chest as she heaved for air. _

_ “I win! Finally!” He screamed, dropping the sword and dancing around the field as Katara stood sorely. She smirked and stomped her foot, freezing the ground beneath his feet, causing him to slip and fall on his ass. She laughed and released her icy grip on the grass and pulled Sokka to his feet. _

_ “Good spar.” She laughed out, her hair bouncing in its frizzy mess. Sokka punched her lightly in the shoulder and gazed back at Zuko and Aang sitting near Appa, the two of them watching in awe. _

_ “Did you see me with the fist of ice! I guess the Dai Li weren’t completely useless after all.” She called out to Aang who sent her a thumbs up and blew kisses. Sokka made a face. _

_ “Yeah! And did you see when I blocked it?” He grinned and for that, she sprayed water at him causing him to take the water in his lungs and gag out chunks of grass as he spat water. Aang ran into the field sweeping Katara into a hug and planting kisses all over her face. Sokka gagged again behind them, this time at their disgusting love for one another, and waved Zuko over. _

_ “Do you want to spar next? I bet I can pin you in a matter of minutes.” Sokka called out, pulling his soaking wet shirt over his head and throwing it to the ground. Zuko’s lips twitched into the tiniest smile. _

_ “You’re pretty cocky for a man asking to take on the Firelord.” Zuko folded his arms, satisfied with his remark, but Sokka leaned in, his eyes narrow and a sly smile on his lips. _

_ “Says the guy who got his ass kicked last time he trained with me. You may be Firelord, but I’m a master warrior.” Sokka leaned on his right foot, hip jutted out and his arms folded across his chest in pride. Zuko only snorted. _

_ “That was sword vs. sword. This is fire against sword.” Sokka thought for a moment. _

_ “Does that mean you’ll spar with me?” Zuko sighed and nodded. Sokka pumped his fist in the air with excitement and pulled his sword from its sheath. _

_ “Hey guys! Katara and I are going to head out! It’s date night!” Zuko smiled and waved them goodbye, but Sokka gagged again at them. _

_ “Just take your oogies and go!” He called out as Katara rolled her eyes. _

_ “It’s been nearly eight years, you’d think that just maybe he’d give the joke a rest.” She sighed, holding onto Aang’s arm as they left the outdoor training arena.  _

_ “Never!” He hollered back, catching her retort. “Now where were we? Oh yeah, I was about to kick your ass.” Sokka huffed out, raising his sword up at Zuko. Zuko rubbed the back of his neck and walked a few paces back. _

_ “You know… we could spar until we’re exhausted and I win, orrrrr… we could call it a night and- _

_ “Go make out in councilman Ming’s guestroom as a way to get back at his homophobic ass?” _

_ “Well I was going to suggest we take a romantic walk through the fire lily gardens… but that works too.” Sokka dropped his sword, completely forgetting about any sparring, grabbed Zuko’s hand, and sprinted towards the palace. _

…

  
  


“Katara… are you sure about this?” Aang's voice trembled as he held the blade loosely in his hands. Everyone swarmed around them, curiosity getting the best of them, but Zuko. He hung back in the doorway, unable to look at Sokka, and unable to look at what Katara was about to do. 

“Yes.”

“We can try and look for-” He was cut off as she snatched the blade from him and sliced her arm with a grimace. She hissed as blood began to seep through the cut and Aang looked as if he was about to pass out. With her other hand, she lifted it above the wound and exhaled. She closed her eyes and sent all her focus to her own blood. She groaned as pain rippled up her arm as she began to drag blood from the wound, pulling and weaving it through the air and gave a quick nod to the medic who then made a small incision on Sokka’s arm. Katara guided the blood into the incision and let it flow through and into Sokka’s bloodstream. They all watched silently as Katara worked, even through the dizziness and pain, and low blood sugar. Her eyelids began to feel heavy, but she continued, stifling the groans in pain, as she continued to draw blood from her skin, which now grew pale.

“Katara, you’ve given enough blood for now. You’re going to pass out if you keep drawing blood.” Aang gently tried to ease her away from her focus, and she didn’t complain, as her hands felt fuzzy and her head became too heavy on her shoulders. She stopped drawing blood and instead ran water over her cut and Sokkas incision, healing the spots until there was nothing but specs of dried blood left. She collapsed back into the chair, exhausted.

“Katara? Katara what can I do?” She sighed, trying to keep herself awake.

“I need sugar, as much of it as you can find.” She held her head in her hands, imagining how Sokka must’ve felt, bleeding out on the battlefield. Aang nodded dutifully, and burst from the room in search of surgery treats.

“What now?” Toph asked, her voice scarcely a whisper.

“Now, we wait.”

…

_ Dear Uncle, _

_ Uncle, I have no idea what to do. Sokka was hurt badly on the rebellion's front. We are now in Omashu, but the healers here are hopeless. There’s nothing that can be done. _

_ And I’m just so… lost. _

_ Sokka is my rock, and if I lose him Uncle, then I have no idea how to return to normal life. My life has only ever felt normal when Sokka’s been around. I guess I’m hoping for some words of wisdom, but I’m sick of people telling me to hold onto hope. I want to, but I’ve never been good at optimism. Katara is trying some bloodbending ideas, but it’s chances of being successful are not very high. _

_ I just needed to talk to someone, and I didn’t want the news of Sokka’s outcome to reach you before I could tell you. I hope you are well Uncle, and I’m so sorry the news has to reach you through letters. And I’m sorry for burdening you with my own grief. I will send you updates. _

_ -Zuko _

…

Two days, and five sessions of bloodbending later and nothing changed. The healer had made some remark about his surprise to see Sokka still alive nearly a week after the accident, that should have provided some form of hope, but it didn’t. 

Zuko refused to attend the bloodbending sessions, because while seeing blood float through the air with its metallic stench wasn’t exactly pleasing to the eye, the whole thing made him feel even more useless than he already was. Here was the Fire Lord, ruler of the Fire Nation, and ender of the hundred years war, unable to do even the simplest of tasks to help keep his boyfriend alive. Zuko wished he could have just swarmed himself with fire and melt away with the searing heat. But he didn’t and so he resorted to not showing even an ounce of pain on his expression. He had never felt weaker, but he couldn’t show that now.

Katara saw right through it. And Zuko was sure Toph could sense his expression of lies too, although she at least had the decency to not say anything. Katara on the other hand…

Zuko had found himself on the roof of the medical building, staring out over the sweeping hills of Omashu, stuffed with bustling streets, now empty in the late night. Lights still shimmered throughout the city, people carrying on with their everyday lives, as if nothing was wrong. Zuko envied them more than anything else in the world.

It was freezing tonight, and Zuko was grateful for it. He stripped himself of his Fire Lord robes, happy to let the bitter chill sting his skin and let it freeze into nothing. He shivered and his teeth chattered, but he simply clenched his jaw and focused his gaze down at the empty streets.

“Zuko? What are you doing up here? You’ll freeze to death.”  _ Good. _ He thought bitterly.

“I’m fine.” Was his initial reaction, refusing to turn his head.

“No, no you’re not fine.” Zuko glared, still refusing to look at her. Her voice was soft and dry, she must’ve been with Sokka, talking to him, maybe even singing that lullaby Zuko only ever remembered in his dreams. She would sit with her brother for hours, and sometimes Zuko would join her and they would just chat idly, or a horrible silence would fall over them as they were forced to stare at their reality. But Zuko hadn’t gone in to see Sokka today. He simply couldn’t stomach it. More than anything, Zuko feared seeing Sokka take his final breath. Avoiding his situation, avoiding everyone and their sympathy looks, felt much better, at least in the moment. He just wanted to escape. He just wanted to escape with Sokka and Sokka to be magically okay and the two of them hide in the swamp for the rest of their lives, alone and away from the rest of the world and its responsibilities and dangers. The idea was comforting, but, of course Katara had to interrupt his wandering mind.

“Yes. I am.” Zuko reinforced through gritted teeth.

“Stop lying to me and talk. I know you think it’s easier to shut down, but you can’t give up.” Katara came forward, resting a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away.

“He's dying.” Zuko grimaced, his voice tiny and broken.

“But he’s not dead.” Katara choked out. “As long as he breathes, he still has a chance. Why are you acting as if he’s dead already? Is that what you really want to let yourself believe?”

“Why would you even  _ think  _ a question like that?! Of course not! But I can’t lose him!” Zuko screamed this, his hands bursting into red hot flames, his teeth grinding out ash. “Everytime I hope for something, every time, it’s taken away from me! I- I can’t lose him.” Zuko’s head fell, tears filling his eyes.

“I can’t lose him. I can’t lose him.  _ I can’t lose him.”  _ Zuko muttered over and over, sobs wracking his body and his breath trapped under the massive rock in his throat. He felt like he was endlessly falling down a black hole, reaching out for something to hold onto, but his greatest stability was slipping away from him.

Katara swept him up in a hug, trying to find the grounding he needed, but it wasn’t what he wanted and she knew that. It broke her heart to see the devastation written across his face. He buried his head in her shoulder as she stood on her toes to hug him tighter around the shoulders. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, Zuko’s hands almost unbearably hot against her shoulder blades as flames still coursed through his bloodstream. Tension flooded through him, and Katara could feel it, the way it blocked up all his chi, the way it clouded his mind and destroyed his lung’s hope for ever breathing properly again. She wanted to soothe him, tell him that it would be okay, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“Go to him.” She said after a while, finally letting go. “Just go to him.” He nodded and wiped his sleeve across his face, trying to rid any evidence of him crying. 

He left her on the roof as he made his way back down to Sokka’s room, the long hallway back, sitting dark and empty. He found Sokka’s room without looking up from the floor once. He stopped however at the door knob. He sighed, trails of smoke emerging with his exhale, and reached out, turning the knob with a soft creak.

Nobody was in the room, fortunately, and Zuko easily made his way over to Sokka’s bed even with nothing more than the dim light of a lantern on the other side of the room. Zuko paused, staring at the chair, he or Katara almost always occupied, then, he ignored it. Instead, he climbed into the bed with Sokka, careful to be on the other side of his wounds, crawling under the light blanket covering Sokka to his shoulders as he laid stiff and flat on his back, face void of any emotion. The bed was barely large enough to fit two grown men, but Zuko made it work. 

Gingerly, Zuko pulled the blanket up to his own shoulders and tucked his face into Sokka’s neck, curling into his side and reaching down to find Sokka’s hand. It was cold- his hands were always cold, but this time it felt… almost ghostly. He interlaced their fingers, just as he had done a thousand times before and exhaled. With his other hand, he fished the betrothal pendant from his pocket -which he had yet to share with anyone, and doubted he ever would- and held it in his palm. A tear rolled down his cheek and hit Sokka’s skin as he ran his thumb over the cravings in the stone.

“Yes.” Zuko whispered, to Sokka, but maybe it was just to himself, as he pulled his body closer to Sokka’s. It was a promise. A promise he wouldn’t break, no matter what happened. He squeezed his hand.

And as Zuko drifted off, he swore that it was his imagination, a cruel trick of his mind, as he told himself, to keep hope from sliding in, that Sokka squeezed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Sokka waking up???? Guess you’ll have to wait to find out! I do love a good cliffhanger, although I’m sure you disagree. Also, I’m not going to lie, Zuko saying yes to Sokka’s “yet to happen” proposal brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know why I do this to myself, honest to god. Anyway, thanks for reading and if you have a chance to leave a comment, I love them!!! 
> 
> Until next time,  
> -Daisy


	6. Words Mean More at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka wakes up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to the last chapter!! This was really supposed to be about 2,000 words, but we ended up with 7,000 whoops... 
> 
> Anywho thank you so so so much for reading, this had truly been one of my favorite stories to write so far! Aso, again none of this is medically accurate although I did talk to a friend who is a nurse, and you can apparently survive a stab wound with a katana even if it goes straight through you, so that is in fact, accurate. Everything else though is probably not.
> 
> Like I said this will be a happy ending, but what's a happy ending without a little more angst??? So here ya go! Enjoy and comments greatly appreciated!

**Chapter 6- Words Mean More at Night**

Zuko woke in the early morning hours- at no surprise. Sokka’s hand had fallen loose from his grip sometime during the night, but Zuko was still curled up next to him. “Hmm… ‘uko?” Zuko had just begun to feel the light sting through his eyelids, but the sudden noise made his eyes fly open and bolt upright.

No. _No._ It was imagination. It was his brain playing tricks. He scanned Sokka's body with a bleary eyes expression, thinking that just maybe there was a chance. But he laid still, unmoving, barely breathing.

Zuko pulled himself to the edge of the bed, throwing his legs over the side, rolling out his stiff neck, his muscles all cramped on his left side from the position he refused to move from all night. He swallowed grudgingly, his throat raw and sore. Sunlight bled through the thin curtains and filled the room with a fake sense of security and the essence of light Zuko couldn’t touch.

He looked back and grazed his fingertips against Sokka’s, his hand laying limply, palm up. Zuko sighed, longing for the electricity that normally pulsed through their fingers whenever they touched, the spark now missing. He blinked at the crinkled bedding and flat pillow that held the indent from his head in it, and found the shiny little pendant folded messily between the sheets. He picked it up, moving it between his fingers with one hand and rubbed his forehead with the other one. He had a splitting headache, and sunlight certainly did nothing to help.

Zuko crossed to the other side of the room and picked up Sokka’s blue hair band off the small pile of belongings. He pulled back his unbrushed and knotted hair into something that resembled a messy bun, but left the golden emblem of the Fire Lord to sit on the table. He did spend a long time looking at it though, his mind wandering to how good Sokka had looked when he tried it on that one time. He thought back to that evening, when Sokka had come sauntering to dinner in Zuko’s ceremonial robes, fire emblem crooked in his hair, enough to rival the crooked grin spread across his face.

_“What the hell are you doing?”_

_“Soooo I had no more robes, mine are all being washed, so I’m borrowing yours!”_

_“Along with my Fire Lord insignia?”_

_“It’s all or nothing, Zuko. You of all people should understand the importance of a full appearance.”_

_“I think you’re an idiot.”_

_“I think that Fire Lord Sokka looks great on me.”_

Zuko almost rolled his eyes at the past conversation. He missed those stupid little bickering remarks and sensless exchanges that felt so normal. So much like _home_. He looked back at Sokka, as the ghost of a lopsided grin mourned the loss of Zuko’s home. He studied Sokka’s form, but his eyes fell on his hand, palm turned down.

Wait a minute. Hadn't his palm just been facing up? Zuko glares, mostly at himself, and his ridiculous ideas that made him feel as if he was losing his mind. Sokka hadn’t moved, there was no way. Every single part of him, hoped to the spirits that his hand had moved, that Sokka was waking up, but he shut the thought down the best he could. Everything he ever loved always ended up leaving him. Why should he let himself hope that Sokka was an exception? Zuko ripped his gaze from Sokka and tossed open the room’s only window, letting the noises of the early morning flow in along with the scents of the market’s fresh produce below. He made his way back over to Sokka and leaned over, pressing his lips to Sokka’s forehead.

“I love you. Don’t you forget it.” Zuko mumbled against his skin and parted, sluggishly crossing the room, and closing the door behind him.

…

“What’s that?” Toph asked, pointing to the object that Zuko was fiddling between his fingers. He quickly snatched it away from view, not that Toph could see it, but she could sense every single movement around them. Zuko stiffened and snapped back.

“Nothing.” He flinched at Toph’s unamusement. The group all lifted their heads from their breakfasts that everyone only half-heartedly picked at.

“You’re lying. What is it?” Zuko glared.

“I said nothing!” Before he knew it, the little stone pendant was heavy in his hand as it was being pulled from his grasp. He growled gripping it with both hands, but Toph’s bedding abilities far outweighed Zuko’s attempts to hold on to the piece of earth, as it flew from his fingertips and landed soundly in Toph’s hands. While she couldn’t see it, she ran her thumb over the carvings, just as Zuko had done a million times in the last three days, each little indent engraved in his memory now. Her eyes widened.

“Is this what I think it is?” 

“No! It’s not!” Zuko lunged at her, but she dodged him with ease, making him scowl even more and sparks of flames erupt at his fingertips.

“Whoa Zuko, calm down.” Aang said softly, trying to pull his friend back. But Zuko had officially lost it, his eyes flaring with an angry light, his brows furrowing in rage and his mouth curling into a sneer.

“Toph give it back.” Katara scolded, pointing her chopsticks at the shiny object still in her hand.

“Were you going to propose?” Toph whispered, sitting back down and handing Zuko the pendant, her teasing tone faltering into something softer, something filled with a sympathy that Zuko hated with every fiber of his being. He snatched it from her open palm and stuffed it in his pocket. 

“No!” Zuko hissed through clenched teeth. Ash came out as he spat, fire rising up his throat. He fell back into his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Everyone was too stunned to say much, other than Katara, who always seemed to know more than she let on.

“May I… May I see the pendant for a second?” Katara asked, her voice falling into a cautious tone. Her expression was soft as if giving Zuko the permission to say no without any argument on her part. Zuko took notice of this and sighed, fishing it from his pocket and letting it fall into her hand, the warmth of the metal leaving his skin and making him feel a thousand universes away from Sokka. Katara studied it intently, for a moment, but then a gentle smile appeared as she looked up at him.

“You found it.” She whispered. “Oh I was so worried that maybe it would get lost forever.” Zuko’s eyes widened in surprise at the comment and leaned forward.

“You knew?”

“For months now, yes. I knew he brought it with him, but I was worried it got lost in battle or when they moved him to Omashu. This isn’t how he’d want you to find out- he’s been planning a whole thing for five or six months now. But I’m glad it’s alright, it’s… it’s beautiful” Zuko’s breath hitched in his throat and all he could do was nod as Katara gave it back to him, the rest of the table leaning towards the pendant to sneak a loot for themselves.

“I-” A shriek cut Zuko off as a young healer came sprinting down the hospital corridor and into the main room where they all sat. She was breathless as she leaned against the wall, surprise and fear etched across her face.

“Coma… patient…” She inhaled, trying to catch her breath. “He wasn’t supposed to move, I was told he wasn’t moving- but like a zombie! Scared the spirits out of me!” Zuko jumped from the table, his knee hitting the edge and jolting the whole table upward, making dishes clink together.

“Sokka!” Him and Katara exclaimed simultaneously, and she stood too along with the others, but Zuko was already out of sight as he burst down the hospital halls. The healer didn’t mention a name and it was entirely possible that it was another comatose patient, not his dying boyfriend who had fallen into a similar state days ago, but maybe just the slightest sliver of hope filled his lungs as he exhaled. He rounded the corridor, the others not far behind, but collided with the healer who had tended to Sokka’s injuries.

“Let me in.”

“Lord Zuko, I cannot we-”

“That’s an order!” Zuko hated using his rank against people, and this wasn’t even his nation and the healer knew that and could have pointed that out. But instead the healer moved to the side, fearful of the man who was practically spitting fire and of the grave expression filling his eyes. Zuko threw open the door…

But Sokka was still lying motionless. Zuko turned his head back towards the doorway, heat prickling at his fingertips and frantic breaths escaping his lungs before he could get a proper breath of air in. The healer bit his lip, unsure of what to do. And while the healer may not have been able to deny Zuko access, he promptly shut everyone else from the room, closing the door behind them to properly explain.

“The healer… the healer said-” Zuko was cut off by the harsh pinch of eyes that blinked once, and squeezed shut again as if the light was burning them- as if pain was so unbearable they simply couldn’t stand to look at the light. Zuko slammed the curtains closed and flung himself at Sokka’s bedside. And then, Sokka’s face twitched. 

That had not been Zuko’s imagination.

Zuko reached out and ran his thumb along Sokka’s jaw, resting a gentle but grounding touch to his cheek. His skin was still cold to the touch, but blue lips, slowly seeped back to their normal pink color and his jaw wasn’t set loose, now holding a tension of muscle that revealed an uncomfortable position.

“Sokka? Sokka come on. I’m right here.” Zuko dipped his head, his other hand finding Sokkas’ and squeezing. “I’m right here.” Then the most beautiful sound in the world filled Zuko’s ears. He would have sobbed right then and there at the sound, one he hadn't hurt in months. Everyone said his name, My Lord, Firelord Zuko, Lord Zuko, even just Zuko, but none of those names held the emotion and sincerity that grounded Zuko and made him fly all at once. None of those names held the worry and love and happiness and frustration that could only be said with his name from one person.

“Zuko?” The tiniest pressure against his hand, another piece of evidence that it wasn’t Zuko’s imagination. Zuko held back a choking sob, one that was beginning to suffocate him, and as he struggled to hold it back, a tear fell down his cheek.

“Sokka? I’m right here, it’s me.” He looked up and his eyes locked with blue; the most mesmerizing color. He saw a flash of those galaxies that reminded him of the beaches of Ember Island. Where the water was such a brilliant blue, he could see straight through it. The sand had been so soft between his toes and warm compared to the cold waves that kissed the shoreline. But no matter how many times it was pushed away, the tide always returned, revealing secrets from the ocean floor. Little shells of beautiful vibrant colors. Crabs that danced in the tide pools. Fish, whose scales shimmered like jewels in the afternoon sun. That was exactly what Sokka’s eyes resembled. And Zuko had missed them so much.

Sokka groaned in pain, slowly turning his head, the color returning to his face. His eyes were foggy and unfocused, rolling in and out from his sockets, blinking widely, adjusting to the light. Zuko held his breath, worrying that Sokka would fall unconscious again, but the man jerked his head up, panic overcoming him.

“Zuko?” Sokka repeated, blinking harshly and trying to lift his hand to rub his eyes. It was as if he couldn’t believe he was seeing his boyfriend’s face. But then he remembered his last view; he remembered the jagged mountains and the field they surrounded. He remembered screams and blinding flashes of metal gleaming in the sun. He remembered Foo Foo’s roars and he remembered… pain. He remembered something piercing his skin with the most sickening sound, and he remembered the way blood flooded the fabric of his tunic and how a sliver of shiny iron came through him and just as quickly left. Then he hit the ground. 

“But h-how?” Sokka mumbled, making Zuko tilt his head in confusion. Sokka reflected the same expression.

“What do you mean?” Sokka took a deep breath, still a little unstable, but enough to let him gasp and bolt upright panic overriding his senses. Everything came flooding back, but then he realized he wasn’t on the battlefield. If Zuko was here, something had happened, and for a brief moment, Sokka had convinced himself that he had failed his men.

“Where are my men?! What happened? What’s the count!” Sokka lurched forward, but screamed out in pain, causing him to fall back against the pillows again, eyes slamming shut as he desperately tried to block out the pain. He pressed a hand to his abdomen and screamed out again, realizing the depths of his wound. His face contorted and as his eyes shot open again, but now there was nothing but fear, pulling the tide away from shore. “No, No! I have to get to them! Make sure-”

“Sokka! Sokka, it’s okay. It’s okay, you won. You won against the rebellion, you saved all your men. You did it.” Zuko exclaimed, leaning forward and wiping the forming sweat away from Sokka’s forehead.

“W-w-why are you here? And Suki? A-a-assassination… attempts.” Sokka panted out, stifling another scream of pain as his stitches began to undo themselves.

“Everyone’s here Sokka. I’m safe, we all are.” Zuko let out a small sigh as relief flooded him so hard that it made him cry. “You’ve been stabbed and all you can think about is my safety?” Sokka leaned into Zuko’s hand pressed against his cheek. 

“I can’t lose you…. Don’t want to- r-r-risk… safety.” Zuko had the urge to punch Sokka in the gut. _And what kind of stunt did you just pull?! I nearly lost you!_ Zuko opened his mouth to say something, or perhaps just to lean in and kiss his boyfriend for the first time in months, ready to feel the warmth that radiated off him, and feel _home_ again. 

“Sokka! Oh spirits!” Zuko was interrupted and if it had been anyone else, he would have felt a twitch of irritation, but it was Katara who stormed the room, and so Zuko moved back, reluctantly letting go of Sokka’s hand as the siblings collided.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again! Do you hear me? You pull that on us again and I’ll kill you!” Katara sobbed out, pressing her face into Sokka’s chest, holding him so tightly, he struggled to breathe. She was careful to watch his wound, but his whole body was already pulsing with pain, the hug only providing an emotional comfort. But Sokka gritted back his groans and held Katara back, because Agni, he missed his sister.

“Okay, okay.” It was all Sokka could manage to say, over and over again as his sister heaved for air and buried herself in his arms. His lips curled into the tiniest smile, relieved that she was okay.

“Sokka buddy! You’re awake! You really scared us.” Aang greedily pushed Katara over for his own quick hug with Sokka, who weakly patted him on the back, exhaustion setting in fast.

“I’m glad I woke up just in time to see my future brother in-law.” Sokka tried to joke out, but he coughed halfway through the sentence, a bitter metallic taste stuck in the back of his throat. They backed away, seeing Sokka struggle to get air in.

“Let’s give him a little space, Katara.” Aang whispered, tugging her gently by the shoulder. She nodded and kissed Aang on the cheek. Sokka wrinkled his nose in disgust at their affection, and scoffed at the idea of rest. _He’d been resting for several days, thank you very much._

“You rest.” Katara agreed with a nod. Sokka looked faint for a moment, then opened his mouth to refute, but was cut off as Katara stepped to the side, letting Suki and Ty Lee come in, shower him with quick hugs and then Toph, who socked him the shoulder because, “Fuck you and your self sacrificing personality Sokka!” Katara urged the girls off him, and gave him one of her signature “looks,” of _that’s an order._ But Sokka had been out cold for nearly a week and he wanted nothing more than to get up.

“I’ve been “resting” for days, Katara! I don’t need you mothering me all the time, I am a grown man. I want to get up!” With that, Sokka threw the sheets off the bed, twisted his torso, ready to plant his feet on the ground. He braced himself on the edge of the bed, and pushed himself up, but when his feet were supposed to move with him, they remained motionless. He grunted through the shredding of his muscle tissues, and urged his feet forward. They remained stiff to the point where they felt almost detached. He faltered and looked up, panic crossing his face, made his eyes go wide and obliterate any ray of light in his eyes.

Aang tried to hold back a gasp behind Katara, but failed, and everyone caught it. 

“W-wh-what? I-” Sokka grunted again, trying desperately to rotate his hips, but that resulted in a sharp ripple of pain up his spine, sending his nerves on a loop of signals that sent wildfire through his body. His stab wound began increasingly angry as it turned red and blood began to surface at the space where the stitches failed to keep the tissue closed. Katara was the only who seemed to process what was going on as she lurched forward and pressed her hands against Sokka’s shoulders, trying to ease him back, but he had erupted into a frenzy.

“No. No, no, no! What’s happening? What’s happened to me, why can’t I move? Why can’t I move!” He thrashed about, guttural screams erupting form his throat as his wound ripped open. Zuko jumped into action, grabbing Sokka’s hands the warm pressure of the contact, providing Sokka enough stability to at least stop his squirming, as Katara, pulled open his tunic and hastily began to soothe the angry wound and smooth over the tissue, assisting in its healing process. 

The healer shoved everyone out from the room, hysterical gasps and matching expressions of grief and shock flooding through them and slammed the door again, hurrying up to his patient and his family. Only Zuko stayed, mainly because the healer was too afraid to ask him to leave. 

“This was what I was trying to explain! When the katana was pulled, it didn’t leave straight like it entered. I believe that it struck in such a way that it prohibits the ability to walk… at least for now. There is evidence of waterbenders correcting the pathways that allow a person to walk, but it will take time and a build up of strength.” The words rolled from the healer's tongue with remarkable ease, his knowledge there, but the empathy and the stress of the journey ahead seemed missing from his tone. 

Katara took in his words with a focused look, her hands weaving water through the air with determination, confident that she could return her brother’s ability to walk. The color drained from Zuko’s face as he squeezed Sokka’s hand so hard, he feared he might cut off the blood flow, but he refused to let go. Nothing would stop Zuko from getting his boyfriend back into perfect shape, but he listened, witnessing his own mistake, the blame he put on himself grow as he watched the pain and devastation contort Sokka’s expression.

Sokka began to hyperventilate, his chest heaving for air and his head shaking ‘no’ vigorously. Zuko grabbed his wrists again, forcing Sokka’s unsteady gaze to land on his eyes.

“Sokka look at me. Look at me and breathe. Just breathe, okay? You’ll get through this, okay? You have Katara and you have me, but you have to calm down.” Sokka meekly nodded his head, exhaling shakily through his nose. Katara exchanged healing methods with the healer, but Zuko tuned them out, forcing all his attention on Sokka and getting him to relax, so that Katara could properly work on the wound. 

Zuko nodded steadily, pushing back the wild strands of hair from Sokka’s face, pull out his (well actually, Sokka’s hair band) from his bun, and tied Sokkas’ back into the wolf tail, the sides no longer shaved and now overflowing with rich brown hair, being tugged softly into the ponytail. He continued to guide Sokka through the moment of panic, working him through a breathing pattern and repeatedly telling him to focus on him. Zuko knew how to work through these moments better than anyone- when he experienced similar panics, his being more regularly a result of his childhood trauma, Sokka would walk him through similar breathing exercises and hold him until his crumbling world would be pieced together.

“I know that this is a lot to process, Sokka. But we need to focus on the initial stab wound, and the best way is rest. I’ll be back later for more blood transfusions.” Sokka’s eyes widened.

“I’m sorry- what?!” Katara smiled a little at his voice crack. 

“It’s okay. I’ve been giving you some of my blood, to help make up for what you’ve lost. It’s been working great, I mean you woke up… so we’re going to keep this up for a couple more days.” Katara leaned forward and squeezed her brother’s shoulders in a quick hug. 

“You’re going to be okay. I’m not going to turn my back on you.” With that, she left, the healer following at her heels. Katara turned back, nodding her head towards the hallways, motioning for Zuko to follow, but he shook his head. With a slight bite of her lip, but a look of understanding, Katara disappeared from view. The pair were silent for a moment, Sokka simply trying to catch his breath while hiding his winces from Zuko, but of course Zuko caught it.

“We’ll get through this Sokka. It’s scary, and different and-” Sokka kept his gaze downward. 

“I know. I know, things will be okay, it’s just… startling. I’ve never _not_ had control over myself, it’s just- overwhelming.” Zuko nodded, his fingers tracing the lines on the palm of Sokka’s hand, mimicking a similar movement Sokka would do to Zuko after nightmares. Sokka finally looked up at him, a flicker of light returning to his eyes, evidence of hope.

“You really scared me. I… I thought…” Zuko trailed off, tears filling his eyes. Sokka reached up and touched the scarred side of his face, his fingers running over the rough patch of skin. And suddenly Sokka was smiling fondly, more concerned about Zuko's well-being than his own, and if Zuko had been worked up about Sokka’s _accident_ , then Sokka only blamed himself for the stress he must’ve put on Zuko’s shoulders. Of course Sokka could only address his mistakes and grievances through a sense of humor, which at times, really wasn’t appropriate. Sokka found that out pretty quickly.

“I always come back though. Like a-” Zuko ripped himself from Sokka’s touch, standing and throwing his arms in the air.

“But you almost didn’t Sokka! You almost didn’t and I would’ve had to go on without you! Do you know what that felt like?! I was lost! Agni knows I can’t lose you, and I was SO CLOSE! YOU ALMOST DIDN’T SOKKA!” It was Zuko's turn to panic, shouting until his face was red and the whole room felt like it was shaking. He hadn’t meant to get so worked up, or let all the rage come out, but he couldn’t help it. Sokka sat there, allowing Zuko to just… let everything out. Zuko collapsed in the chair again, a dry sob heaving its way from his chest and escaping, his whole body shrinking in on itself. Sokka reached out again, gingerly running his thumb over the tears that began to fall.

“I know.” Sokka mumbled, scarcely a whisper. “I know Zuko.”

“I-I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! You’re going through so much and I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, I just-” Sokka cut him off, surging forward, shoving the painful grunt down his throat, and snap of his stitches as his wound reopened, and kissed him. He kissed him with every ounce of energy he had, desperate and exhausted, and so, so full of longing that it made him dizzy. Zuko kissed him back, giddy again like it was their first kiss, but with equal urgency. He reached his hands up and roamed Sokka’s hair, the soft strands that didn’t get caught in the hair band slipping through his fingers and he tried to hold every part of him. 

They parted when Sokka couldn’t bite back his moans, his breath labored as he collapsed back into the bed again, blood seeping slowly through the gauze.

“Sokka you’re-”

“It's fine… It’s fine. Just come here.” Sokka held out his hands, still longing for Zuko’s closeness. Zuko crossed to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to him. Unlike last time, Sokka was able to move -at least his upper body and turn into him, pressing himself into Zuko’s protective embrace. Zuko gently helped Sokka adjust his hips to be more comfortable, and wrapped him up in his arms, drawing him impossibly close.

“I love you.” Sokka mumbled into Zuko’s collarbone. Zuko kissed the top of his head. “And I’m sorry I don’t say it enough.” Zuko lifted his head to catch his gaze, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

“When I wrote to you. I never said it. I just feared that it sounded… final. And when it almost was… I never said it. It was the last thing I thought about out on the field.” Sokka choked out, his hand running down Zuko’s chest.

“You didn’t have to say it. I knew. The way you wrote to me was proof enough. And anyway, words mean more at night, when they’re the source of all the light.” Sokka lifted his chin, just enough to plant a soft kiss on Zuko’s jaw.

Sokka fell asleep to Zuko’s words repeating in his mind.  
  


**Two Weeks Later…**

“Toph I swear to Agni! I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“Sokka, so help me, you try and get out of that bed one more time and I will tie you down.” Katara shoved him back into the pillows, Sokka grumbling in response as Toph, who sat criss-crossed at the end of his bed, pulled all the silver towards her, once again stealing his pile. He slapped down his cards, grumbling bitter curses.

“You’re cheating!” He accused her, jabbing a finger in her direction. Her lips simply curled into a devilish smile, but was quickly shooed off by Katara, who had had enough of their bickering. 

“That’s enough you two! Sokka needs to rest.” Sokka groaned in his restless state, folding his arms over his chest. 

“Kaaaataaarrrraaaa! I want to do _something!_ Either get to healing, or let me kick Toph’s ass, or I don’t know, let me walk!” Sokka threw his hands in the air in exasperation , motioning dramatically to his sprawled out legs.

“I took a couple steps yesterday! That’s progress!” Katara pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. But by the way she didn’t snap back right away, Sokka knew he had won the argument. He grinned wickedly.

“Fine! We can work on it! But the second something feels painful, you _have_ to tell me… okay?” Sokka pumped a fist in the air.

“Deal!” Within minutes, Katara had taken all distractions away from the room -mostly meaning Toph and her teases- and pulled out the parallel bars, and positioned Sokka’s wheelchair at one end.

“Okay, are you ready?” Sokka nodded, practically bouncing in his seat. “I want you to close your eyes, picture sturdy earth beneath your feet. Feel each movement, each vibration, and focus on the ground. It’s there to hold you up. Focus on your hands, your arms, and pull yourself up.” Sokka grunted, his biceps shaking and sweat gathering his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled himself up. His knees buckled and his feet struggled to stand flat against the ground, but he pushed himself higher anyway. 

“Now, picture that steady earth. Let it carry you. Take a step.” Sokka grinded his teeth, his jaw clenched with focus, as he forced his foot from the ground, folding his knee and bringing it forward, letting it clap the ground. As he did so, arms shaking against the bars, his hips bucked out from beneath him, and his other leg crumbled, sending him face plant towards the ground.

“Fuck.” He bit out, making Katara wince. She helped him to his feet, guiding him back to the starting point.

“It’s okay Sokka. You did it yesterday, so we can rest for a few-”

“No! No, I have to keep trying.” Katara sighed, but obliged, taking a deep breath to start up again.

“Feel the earth beneath your feet. Feel how steady and strong it is. Focus on its energy, it’s rootedness…” Katara paused, watching her brother slam his eyes shut as he focused on the visualization. Katara glanced towards the door, watching as it creaked open and Zuko slid in, opening his mouth to speak. Katara pressed a finger to her lip to shush him and motioned him to stay put. He nodded and watched Sokka struggle against the bars, leaning his weight on his right side, arms shaking.

“Katara what’s-”

“Eyes shut Sokka. Focus. Now instead of thinking about moving with the earth, I want you to picture Zuko.”

“Z-Zuko?” 

“Hush! Focus all your energy, all your power on him. His face, his attire, his posture. Imagination that he is just across the room. Now take a step.” Sokka groaned, pulling up his knee again, his foot slipping out of its grounding, but his arms pushing through the exhaustion to hold him up long enough to plant his foot down again. His hips didn’t buckle and his foot was steady enough for his other leg to follow suit. When his footing was even, he exhaled and stepped forward again.

Two steps. Three steps. Four. Five. Six-

Sokka collapsed, but not from his legs caving in, but by the force that stopped him in his tracks, the familiar warm breath across his face and silky robes. Sokka’s eyes flew open to see Zuko _really_ standing in front of him, a smile spread across his face, lighting up the entire room as he beamed with happiness. Sokka flung himself into Zuko’s arms, Zuko stumbling back in order to catch Sokka’s full weight and keep them both standing.

“How long were you standing there?” Zuko’s smile lengthened.

“Long enough to see you walk all the way to me.” Sokka threw his head back and laughed, excitement coursing through his blood, making his whole body vibrate with giddy energy. Zuko had so missed that abundance of energy that Sokka held, and seeing just a few steps of progress sent his whole head soaring in the clouds as he gripped Sokka’s tunic to keep him steady.

“Soon enough I’ll be running faster than you!” Sokka jabbed, kissing his jaw, since his knees gave out and forced him back down, in which Zuko swiftly caught him, but Sokka still struggled to stand at full height. Katara pulled the wheelchair up to Sokka, but he pushed it away, forcing his legs to hold his weight as he balanced against the parallel bars again.

“Sokka, you’ve never been faster than me, even at your prime.” Sokka grunted, but the smile on his face didn’t falter. 

“That was really good Sokka. We’ll keep this up for another week or so and if you continue to progress, then we’ll be back home in the Fire Nation in no time!”

“Just enough time for me to walk again, so I can walk you down the aisle!” Sokka laughed out, his balance disintegrating as he fell back, Katara and Zuko each catching his shoulders and helping back to his bed. Katara faltered. She had not thought about her wedding in three weeks, not since Sokka had been moved to Omashu. In fact, her stomach fell to the ground as she realized she had practically forgotten Aang with all her focus being on healing Sokka. But Katara wasn’t the only who turned distant and fidgety, Zuko’s eyes glazed over as he seemed to drift into some plaguing thought, his hands immediately going to his pockets.

Sokka didn’t catch Zuko, but must’ve caught Katara’s apprehensive expression because he reached out and put a firm pressure on her forearm.

“Katara?”

“...I’ve barely even thought about the wedding. I…”

“Katara, it’s okay! Go talk to Aang, relax and do some wedding planning and don’t hold up because of me. I can practice on my own, with Zuko’s help. Seriously, sis. Go on.” Katara tried to be diplomatic about her leaving, but she couldn’t contain her newfound excitement as she quickly bid them goodbye and ran off to find Aang.

Sokka turned to Zuko, who appeared almost sheepish as he shrunk back into the wall, trying not to be seen. Zuko had tried to bring up the pendant for nearly two weeks, but everytime the idea popped up, his throat went dry and he felt as if he was suffocating. What if it had been some mistake? What if Katara had been wrong? What if Sokka blamed Zuko for letting him go into war, and now his mind had changed? The worrying made Zuko sick to his stomach, and right now was not the time to address that. Sokka needed to focus all his energy on getting better, not be distracted by him.

“Zuko? Babe, what’s wrong?” Zuko didn’t respond but he had noticed his smile had slipped away into a forlong frown, which he tried to fix into a weak smile, that simply couldn’t hold its place. Sokka lifted himself just enough to slide into the wheelchair and pushed himself to Zuko’s feet.

“Let’s get out of this stuffy room. I bet the roof has a great view!” Sokka wanted nothing more than to hold Zuko’s hand in his own, but he needed both arms to push his chair, which he refused anyone to do for him. Zuko felt like he had no choice but to follow, even though he wanted to run and hide and sulk. They made their way towards the roof, the earthbending platform guard, pushing the piece of rock up past the addition three floors and to the roof access. Once they were at the top, Sokka could wheel himself out, using one hand to shield his eyes to the adjusting light of the sinking sun. Sokka had been right of course, the view was beautiful. Omashu’s temple sat high in the distance, and to the right, pressed between the two mountains where a low cut valley and river passed below was the setting sun, casting an orange glow across the rushing waters, making the water turn golden. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” Zuko sighed, but didn’t respond right away.

“No.” Sokka caught the hesitation and continued to press him.

“Yes. I think you do. I think you should. We don’t go hiding things from each other.” Sokka refuted sternly, folding his arms across his chest. He raised his chin, catching a glance of Zuko’s golden eyes, prettier than any sunset, but found that they were mostly covered by his sweeping bangs. Sokka wanted to push back the bangs, but he couldn’t reach from the wheelchair. He huffed out angrily because of that, and continued to watch as Zuko battled himself. 

_"He wouldn't want you to find out like this..."_ Katara's words echoed in his mind as he gripped the pendent inside his pocket. He ran his thumb over the smooth carvings, the little fire insignia, the sun and moon on opposite sides of each other. He had memorized every little detail of the pendent, his skin cells had touched every part of it, as he twisted the stone between his fingers over and over again, taking int he comfort of it's weight. He almost wanted to hide it forever. Keep in his pocket at his own little selfish desires, to simple feel the carving over and over until the stone was worn into nothing but dust. He glanced up and found Sokka's eyes, wide with worry, but full of determination and hope zuko couldn't produce. That was why they were so good together. Sokka was his rock, and Zuko was...

Zuko narrowed his eyes. What was he to Sokka? He knew Sokka loved him, but his brain still fought through all the fear that he -like everyone else in his past- would just leave him. Zuko bit his lip, wondering if Sokka would still want him. He pressed his thumb harder into the carving, using it as his proof that Sokka wasn't going to leave him. Sokka wasn't going to disappear. He would always- _shit_. Now _he_ was using Sokka's stupid boomerang quote that always made Zuko want to puncha nd kiss him senseless all at the same time. He dug himself deeper into the trance of those big blue eyes and suddenly he could breathe.

Finally, Zuko stuffed his hands inside his pockets, fishing around and pulled something out. Sokka couldn’t see what it was straight away, but it became pretty clear by the fierce blush across Zuko’s face and the way the light touched the stone.

“...Y-you… found it.” Sokka bit his lip and sucked in his breath. He was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. 

“...Yes.” Sokka reached out cautiously, but Zuko let him take it from his hand.

“I kinda figured I lost it on the battlefield. Umm…” Sokka licked his lips. “I-I… what… I would’ve just made a new one, I think this is kind of cheesy, but it reminded me of you while I was away and it just kind of kept you close, even though I’ve been working on it months before I left, I’ve restarted like four times, because it never turned out perfect and it's still unfinished and kind of a mess and-” Sokka was immediately cut off by the warm lips that pressed against his own, as Zuko leaned down and Sokka lifted his head up to catch each other's embrace, regardless of the awkwardness of the wheelchair. Zuko pulled away first, his cheeks still flushed red, but the fear in his eyes melting away. Sokka gripped the pendant in his hands and pulled out a red ribbon, tucked neatly in his tunic pocket, golden waves dancing across the band as he attached it to the pendant. Tears stung Zuko’s eyes as he watched Sokka do this, feeling his breath hitch.

“Fuck. I kinda can’t kneel down.” At this, Zuko barked out a laugh, making Sokka chuckle along with him. Zuko instead was the one to kneel, getting at eye level with Sokka. Sokka grinned and leaned forward in the chair.

“Zuko, after all that we’ve been through, all the chaos _I’ve_ put you through, I would one hundred percent understand if you decline, but would you be willing to go through a lot more chaos for the rest of your life and marry me?” Zuko couldn’t stifle a smile, it practically burst out onto his face as he nodded through teary eyes that reflected Sokkas’. He nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I’d wouldn’t want it any other way.” Sokka wrapped his hands around his neck, clasping the betrothal necklace, but didn’t pull away, instead locking his lips against Zuko’s in a kiss that melted into the colors of the sunset.

“I love you, you idiot.” Zuko mumbled against his lips, foreheads pressed together.

“I love you too, jerkbender.”

**Six Months Later...**

“Hey babe? Where’s my boomerang?” Sokka shouted, throwing open his nightstand drawers, tossing things to the side, as he practically stuck his head inside the drawers in search of his boomerang. He yelped when he hit his head and slammed the drawer shut in response.

“It should be in your nightstand! And, why do you even need a boomerang, it's a wedding!” Zuko called back from the bathroom, packing their toiletries, while Sokka packed a couple everyday outfits, their wedding attire being professionally packed by the seamstress and servants -who were also very adamant on packing their other luggage, but Sokka had chased them off-. 

“I never go anywhere without it and I already checked my nightstand!” Sokka hollered, now going through the vanity, finding his hairbrush and tossing in the duffel.

“Agni Sokka, if I come in there and find it in that nightstand for you, I’m going to burn the palace down.” Sokka stuck his tongue out at him, not that Zuko could see and continued his rampaging through the room. 

“Mr. Dramatic.” Sokka mumbled to himself, throwing open every drawer in the bedroom. He crossed the room and started rifling through Zuko’s things, not that Zuko would have minded, except for the fact that Sokka didn’t bother folding the clothes neatly again after he rummaged through them. Sure, maybe it was more logical to check the weapons vault before Zuko’s dresser, but since when was Sokka one to let logic win when his fiancee had already suggested it be in the weapons vault, not an hour earlier. He stuck his head deeper in the dresser drawer, pushing tunics to the side when at the bottom, he saw a scroll, and strangely enough, his name written on the front.

Curious, he pulled out the letter, unrolling it and scanning the heading at the top.

_Dear Sokka_ , 

Sokka glanced over the lengthy letter, noticing the date at the top, pointing to six months prior. Sokka’s eyes widened, realizing it was at the time of his accident, and clearly the letter had never reached him, but the franticness about it, the messy writing, told Sokka that Zuko had been worried sick. Sokka heard Zuko come back into the room and hastily stuffed the scroll back in the dresser and slammed the drawer shut.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh- nothing! Looking for my boomerang… ‘is all.” Sokka sent him a slight smile, trying to pull off his innocence, which, by the raise of his eyebrow, Zuko did not fall for.

“Uh-huh, I see. And why would it be in my dresser.” Sokka merely shrugged, but a deep blush rose up his neck and tinted his cheeks. Zuko came closer, unconvinced.

“Whatcha find in there, buddy?” Zuko said pointedly, a small smirk playing on his lips as he mocked Sokka’s use of “buddy.” Sokka exhaled, knowing he’d been caught.

“I um… found a letter. I swear I was really looking for my boomerang and I just stumbled upon it and-”

“Sokka, it’s okay. I don’t hide things from you.” Zuko pushed past him and pulled the letter from the dresser. “I wrote this to you when you were in your coma. I was starting to lose this fight in me, and this was the only way I could think of to deal with it. I never planned on showing you it, there was never any need. I actually considered using part of it in our vows, but you can read it.” He folded the piece of paper into Sokka’s hands, letting the touch linger as Sokka’s eyes fell on the shiny pendant, glowing in the setting sunlight.

“Did you really think I was going to die?” Zuko bit his lip, confirming Sokka’s question. “I always come back. Like a-”

“Boomerang. I know.” Sokka smiled and found his hand interlacing their fingers.

“Packing can wait a couple hours. Let’s go down to the turtleduck pond, and read this together.”

“It’s getting dark out though.” Sokka kissed his forehead and pulled him towards the doors, his smile echoing through the palace and his warmth radiating around them, gravitating Zuko towards him. Sokka scoffed, leading them towards the royal courtyard.

“You always told me words mean more under the light of the moon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sokka does regain his ability to walk, if that wasn't clear by the end snippet there. I really had him struggle to walk only because I watched that scene from LOK with Korra and Katara and I lowkey wanted to mimic that. Thank you so much for reading!!! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> So I know the chapter was short, but I really just wanted to set up the story. More chapters to come soon and they will be a little bit longer. Hang on because it's about to get worse before it gets better! Thank for reading and until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


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